Blessed Are They Who Have Not Seen

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Blessed Are They Who Have Not Seen

Post  Don C on Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:28 pm

 
 
                       
How could that harlot be the one
To help the Israelites
Invade her land and fight a war
With her own Canaanites?
 
Since she was born a Canaanite
And lived in Jericho;
Why would she dare betray her own?
What secret did she know?    
                       
Some guards had seen two spies come in,
But soon they disappeared;
For Rahab hid them on her roof
And never really feared
 
Through questions of stern-faced guards
Who looked her in the eye,
Rahab remained as solid rock
Continuing her lie.
 
How could she trust strange men to keep
The promise that they made,
And risk her family’s being killed
In one horrendous raid?
                                   
Perhaps Yahweh had spoken and she
Heard His still small voice;
Therefore, she never doubted Him
Nor wavered in her choice.
.
Forr she had heear of many things
That Yahweh‘s might had done,
And, thus, by faith she stayed the course
Until the war was won.
 
How blessed are they who have not seen
And still steadfastly stay
In paths that God prepares for them
Who know the Master’s way.


Don Crowson

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Questioning a story

Post  dennis20 on Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:35 am

Don,  Although the poem is provocative, I see that as part of the downfall.  In telling the story of Rahab, the poet has clouded the flow of the story line with too many questions. This story probably needs to be told in the affirmative rather than by question. The story line needs more depth to enlighten the reader who is not familiar with the story.  The questions apply to the reader who is knowledgeable.  The title covered the last paragraph so it is unnecessary.  There are some misspelled words or typos.  I hope these thoughts are helpful.  Good poem  Dennis

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Blessed Are They Who Have Not Seen

Post  Don C on Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:12 pm

Thanks, Dennis.  The questions were intentional Wink , the typos were not.  Idea 

This poem is a part of a larger work that is not written for believers.   Thanks for your comments.

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First impression

Post  tsukany on Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:30 pm

I wonder if you are adding anything to the story.  If this is a retelling of the story, have you added rhyme to help the story line?  What is the story as a personal surprise to the writer?  Maybe tell the story from that persona/POV.
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Just thoughts. . . take them lightly. . .

Post  Pat on Mon Sep 30, 2013 3:58 pm

Hi Don.  Glad to find you here.  Welcome, welcome, welcome.  We just throw out our thoughts.  The poem, as you well know, belongs to you.  
I like the format and rhyme.  Seems sound to me.  I agree with Dennis on the questions and last stanza comment.  I think it ended in the stanza above.  The last stanza is telling and maybe explaining.  Not needed.  I love this story out of the Bible.  Rahab was courageous.  Soooo, what do I need from it?  I think I'd like for you to pick a moment, maybe show us something we don't normally see when we read this story, not claiming it as a blessing or mystery (so abstract) but maybe leaving it to the reader to figure out the message.  Stay with the experience.   Offer us one or two moments we don't know. . . yet, then let the door just click shut.    Pat

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Thanks, Pat

Post  Don C on Mon Sep 30, 2013 4:19 pm

Good to see you here.  This is one of the poems that I plan to put in my book. For that reason, I have placed questions in Rahab's thinking.  Surely she didn't reach her conclusion without some questioning. But as she reached her conclusion, she became firm in her decision.  That will be explained in the prose section of the book.

Todd, I appreciate your comments.  I didn't realize that I needed to reply immediately or lose the opportunity.

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Don...What do you mean?

Post  tsukany on Mon Sep 30, 2013 4:25 pm

Hey Don...What do you mean by "I didn't realize that I needed to reply immediately or lose the opportunity."  I want to make sure I didn't say anything wrong...I'm pretty good at that.  Smile
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Todd

Post  Don C on Mon Sep 30, 2013 5:01 pm

You didn't say anything wrong.  I noticed that whn Pat responded to my poem that the "Post Reply" button wasn't available on your post.  Therefore, I couldn't reply directly to you. Hey, I appreciate your comments.

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Don

Post  tsukany on Mon Sep 30, 2013 5:23 pm

Phew.  Thanks  Todd
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Blessed Are They Who...

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Oct 05, 2013 11:19 am

Don... glad to meet you in this venue...we met in c2002 in a group that included Gene Moss, Clyde Scott, Glendol Jackson and spouses in Benton, AR.  And I've enjoyed your poetry in the Benton/Saline Courier for several years.  As to this poem... I'm not a fan of rhyme yet I enjoyed this poem.  I think Dennis and Pat are right about the title and the last stanza... maybe try deleting the last stanza.  The poem contains some clechets that are like small speed bumps to me as I read for flow in the context of the time...  I like this poem and its subject matter... might be near impossible to write it in first person but I think it would "grab" the reader if it were.  I look forward to many of your poems shared in The Last Forum.  Dewell

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Thanks Dewell

Post  Don C on Sat Oct 05, 2013 8:31 pm

I think it will be great sharing poetry ideas on this board.  I've always enjoyed your poems, and many readers have commented on them.

I may attempt the impossible and write this poem in first person. The idea is intriguing.  Omitting the last stanza seems to be the general consensus, so I will really consider that.

Thanks for your comments, and I look forward to reading more of your poems

Don

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Please don't delete the last stanza!

Post  A.J. on Mon Mar 09, 2015 3:11 pm

Don,

I enjoyed your poem. I will continue reading it because I find new meaning with each read. I've always held a different view from most people - I tend to look for meaning rather than rules.

I really enjoyed the last stanza. It would be a shame if you decide to delete it.

Thanks for you poetry.

AJ

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