Shortie . . . 'cept for meaning

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Shortie . . . 'cept for meaning

Post  tsukany on Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:48 am

‘tina Infusion


Maté* is exceptionally bitter today.
I fill the crock several times,
try to get past that biting point.
No dilution is helping.


--Sukany 20 Nov 2013

*Maté is a traditional South American caffeine-rich infused drink.
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What is with you and Don?

Post  dennis20 on Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:17 pm

Todd,  It is hard to take away from bare bones when words are not minced!  I would suggest saying "dilution is not helping" rather than "No dilution..." It seems to go with the positive lean of the poem.  And, BTW, I do see the dual meaning of Mate (Matey) and the possibilities of bitter carrying a weight of relationship.  How often we try to dilute situations, but sometimes to no avail.   Good 'short with bigger meaning poem.'  Dennis

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Good Call Dennis

Post  tsukany on Tue Nov 26, 2013 5:45 pm

I really like your suggestion about making the delusion/dilution line more clear.  Thanks and good EYE.
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Todd

Post  Don C on Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:00 pm

Looks good.  I think Dennis caught the only flaw.

Don

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Todd, I totally stopped

Post  Pat on Thu Nov 28, 2013 9:37 pm

when I read the last line. . . . and thought, What???  Maybe it is the way it is being said.   Something stops me cold.  These guys probably are reading it right.  I am lost on the title. 

I substituted the word Life.   Life is bitter today.  No matter what I am doing.  It is still bitter.  Went to the well several times.  Not any better.  ??????????????????????  : ) 

What is 'tina infusion???? 

There's my reaction. . . . that's all I've got.

Oh, and thanks for the info on accessories/wordpad.  I had no idea I had it.

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Thanks Pat

Post  tsukany on Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:59 am

I wondered about that title.  I wanted to shorten "Argentina" to hint to the relationship symbolized by the social drink shared alone.
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I would "get it" if you

Post  Pat on Fri Nov 29, 2013 7:21 am

said Argentina.  Nothing wrong with that word.  I am not worldly enough to get 'tina.  I almost thought it was a girl.  But the poem was not about a girl.

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Pat

Post  tsukany on Fri Nov 29, 2013 8:26 am

I avoided "Argentina" as a title because I feared that the reader would NOT include a girl in the poem.
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So, is it about getting over

Post  Pat on Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:34 am

a girl?  bitter taste. . . . no way to dilute it.  Hmmmm.

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Other hints

Post  tsukany on Fri Nov 29, 2013 11:57 am

Crock (as in "that's a crock of hooey")
biting point (the argument)

Now...whether my intent is "read" THAT is why we post things to this forum  Smile
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Todd's Crock At Starbucks

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Fri Nov 29, 2013 1:06 pm

LOST!  COMPLETELY LOST!  Until I read reaction of others.  Now I see multiple meanings.  I think it is too tight, too much economy of words.  Now it makes sense but I would not have gotten there without help.  I would have puzzled a while then passed on by this poem.  One simple pronoun might have steared me to the meaning.  Sorry I can't be of more help on this one.  Dewell

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