The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    A Tribute to Marjorie Content

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    A Tribute to Marjorie Content

    Post  Guest on Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:09 pm


    Canyon de Chelly, Summer, c. 1932


    This is one section of a tribute for photographer, Marjorie Content. For each photo, I'm writing at least 3 different perspectives. In some cases, I'm noticing some repetition. Most are tanka although some are haiku and cinquain. I only observe syllable counts for cinquain. I will include links to the photos on the internet if I can find them.



    a woman woven
    into the sandstone
    of canyon de chelly
    tears of rain evaporate
    before they ever touch her face


    like a raven
    she is surrounded by myths
    and those once-in-a-while clouds
    that take away
    her shadows


    stone towers protected
    by their remoteness
    every now and then
    we find something
    that outlasts our heartache

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    tsukany

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    Join date : 2011-05-21

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    Post  tsukany on Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:51 am

    Cindy...I believe the strength of the poems is best illustrated in the first. It contains no "and" and no "pronoun." Just concrete image words. What if poems two and three were taken as separate offerings (then you'd introduce the woman before using a pronoun). If the poems are strong on their own, they will be fortress in triplicate. Smile

    What wonderful "job" or idea you have. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Todd

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    Re: A Tribute to Marjorie Content

    Post  Guest on Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:20 pm

    I have to decide if I want these to connect to each other or have each one stand on its own. Thanks for your suggestions.
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    tsukany

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    Together

    Post  tsukany on Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:37 pm

    Cindy...I vote for them to remain together. But I would put them on separate papers so that they will feel alone. Once they are satisfying alone, I believe they will be magnificent together. My couple cents. Smile

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