Got inspired by one of Dewell's emails

Go down

Got inspired by one of Dewell's emails

Post  tsukany on Sun Feb 23, 2014 2:23 pm

Last Friday
(found poem)

I'm watching Joe White
age 93

prune his rose bushes
down the street

one bush each day
such a gentle touch

back to the resting
couch for now

--Sukany 7 Feb 2014

Posts : 554
Join date : 2011-05-21

View user profile

Back to top Go down


Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:34 am

Todd,  I took my origional poem to Joe along with your response poem today and he chuckled in that deep, rusty drill-seargent voice of his.  This morning the local newspaper included my tribute to Joe.  He is Sidewalk-Supervisor to the local gardners pruning rosebushes at the courthouse.    I marvel how you can get so much meaning in so few words and images like in this poem.  That last line confuses me about WHO is returning to the resting couch.  (Your economy of words in this poem reminds me of what Joe's rosebushes look like after he has pruned them.)  Dewell

Dewell H. Byrd

Posts : 335
Join date : 2012-01-05
Age : 87
Location : Central Point, OR

View user profile

Back to top Go down

clipped to the quick

Post  dennis20 on Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:07 pm

Todd,  I read Dewell's response before I sent this and I too admire your brevity.  I was confused by "resting couch" occupant as well. That is unclear as to who is returning.  The only other suggestion might be to reverse the two lines, "prune his rose bushes/down the street" and add the word "from" before "down the street."  It would read:

I am watching Joe White
age 93

from down the street
prune his rose bushes

doesn't mean it would be any better, maybe putting "down the street" in perspective.  He isn't pruning them down the street, that is where he is.
 It is a good picture because we know what you are saying.  Dennis


Back to top Go down

Oh my gosh, I think I understand

Post  Pat on Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:26 pm

this one Todd Sukany poem on a first reading. That is a first for me.
I like the couplets. Perfect format.
I think you are saying he lives down the street and you watch him prune. He prunes one bush each day, gently prunes them. Cutting rose bushes back is a loving thing whether it hurts the bush at the time or not. It helps them in the long run. They will have more blooms later. Then from exhaustion, he goes back to his couch to rest. It's probably all he can do to prune one bush per day. Clearly he loves it to put out that energy that wears him down. I know people like that. They pace themselves to keep doing what they want to do. I too have admiration and respect for Joe White and for the brevity found here. Appropriate brevity because the act is cutting on one bush a day. : ) Love it.


Posts : 588
Join date : 2011-09-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Got inspired by one of Dewell's emails

Post  Sponsored content

Sponsored content

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum