Wondering
The woman lies in bed waiting for
the black sky to turn dark blue.
She stays perfectly put
wanting to revert back to
a season of lights, red poinsettias,
jingling bells.
A great weight sits on her chest.
She turns and resettles.
Smoothing back brown hair,
she wonders where she’ll find
the courage to brave confusion
and to forgive herself
for not setting firm boundaries,
for allowing
an entangled cancer with horns
to live inside her body.
The woman lies in bed waiting for
the black sky to turn dark blue.
She stays perfectly put
wanting to revert back to
a season of lights, red poinsettias,
jingling bells.
A great weight sits on her chest.
She turns and resettles.
Smoothing back brown hair,
she wonders where she’ll find
the courage to brave confusion
and to forgive herself
for not setting firm boundaries,
for allowing
an entangled cancer with horns
to live inside her body.