OVERALL ... (once again, my title is too short to make the forum happy)

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OVERALL ... (once again, my title is too short to make the forum happy)

Post  Karen on Wed Apr 22, 2015 6:55 pm

Yay, I'm first on.  This silly thing is bothering me, but I like it.   I've thought on the title, but nothing comes to me.  The word longhandles looks off, but dictionary.com says it's ok.  Maybe I've just never seen it in writing before.

So ... your thoughts, overall?

OVERALL

When you wore overalls
every day,
they beat the daylights
out of the dryer
every weekend.

Big Smiths,
every shade
of blue.

White painters' overalls
in summer.
No shirt.

Wintertime,
dark stiff newcomers
over red longhandles.

At home,
that wounded veteran,
missing a buckle
on one shoulder strap,
but still functional,
overall.
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fun

Post  tsukany on Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:30 am

I tried a three-letter subject on a reply (maybe different rules for original posts?)

I like the tone of the poem and extended meaning of the final stanza.  I question "overalls" in stanza three.
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Re: OVERALL ... (once again, my title is too short to make the forum happy)

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Fri Apr 24, 2015 12:02 pm

OVERALLS...
Nicely done, Karen.  Did painters wear overalls or coveralls?  The one-buckle overalls were a standard on washday at our house... and the patches, Good Lord, the patches.  My Dad was proud of his watch fob in the bib of his work overalls and checked it sometimes as a nervous gesture... fine pocket watch.  If you want to extend this poem you might include hand-me-downs, patches, turned up cuffs.  I gave up my last pair at age 12 but the memories are forever and your poem renewed them.  Thanks.  Dewell

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Re: OVERALL ... (once again, my title is too short to make the forum happy)

Post  Karen on Fri Apr 24, 2015 12:39 pm

For Todd and Dewell ... I think both of you are thinking about painters' coveralls in the 3rd stanza (there were and are such), but I do mean overalls.  Google says they're still around!

My husband wore overalls daily for the first 10 years or so we were married.  His seasonal change from denim to lightweight white canvas was almost as regimented as my Papo's longhandle rituals.  Bob would wear more and more faded denim as the weather warmed.  It was as if one late spring morning I would wake up to find the denim had finally faded completely to white.  I remember so well his motion of flipping that second buckle over his shoulder.  Bullseye.  The buckle did everything but hook from that little flip.

I'm glad this poem resonated with you.  It's about some very specific memories, and I love that about it.
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Overall it is good

Post  dennis20 on Fri Apr 24, 2015 3:08 pm

Karen,  Nice pictures.  Been there, done that.  As Dewell pointed out, I also wore them in youth. Big Smith and Lee were the ones back in the day. I remember the white striped ones that I hated.  I swore I would never wear them (or any overalls) again.  So far, I have kept that oath and don't look to change my mind.  Now to the poem,  You start out "when you"... and end with "that wounded veteran."  My thought is be consistant.  Either use the "when he"  or end with "you."  I like the picture of dark stiff newcomers.  It reminds me of hanging them out on the line in winter and they (blue jeans, too) would freeze stiff and although dry would be stiff chunks to bring in before dark.  Good memories here.

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To be more clear

Post  tsukany on Fri Apr 24, 2015 6:47 pm

I read "bibs" when I see overalls.  I meant to suggest cutting the word "overalls" out of stanza three.  It's in the title and there's not a clear shift from that title by stanza three; therefore, I would call it "redundant."  That is the only suggestion I find in this poem.  Well done.
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Overall, I like it

Post  Pat on Sat Apr 25, 2015 8:18 pm

Nice play on words.  I actually own a pair of overalls.  : )  I'd go with 3rd person.  Check out summer and winter.  There may be a way to parallel them.   Good work.

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Re: OVERALL ... (once again, my title is too short to make the forum happy)

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