The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    How to Spread Mushrooms

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    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    How to Spread Mushrooms

    Post  Karen on Wed May 27, 2015 3:59 pm

    I'm on a rhyming binge.  Go figure.  I had fun writing this, but after a few days rest it looks darker than I remembered.  I meant it to be fun, with a little kick at the end.  Sometimes I laugh hard at my own jokes, only to look up and ain't nobody else laughin'.

    How to Spread Mushrooms

    If you love them, kick them hard,
    launch them screaming in the air.
    Desecrate the fragile tops.
    Strew the bodies everywhere.

    Recommended violence:
    drag them down the trail a while.
    Leave them in a barren place.
    Grind them with your heel and smile.

    Beauty so ephemeral,
    tender flesh that does not bleed.
    You may not love hard enough
    to destroy, to fill the need.

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 360
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    How To Spread Mushrooms

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Fri May 29, 2015 4:36 pm

    Yeah!  Kick them, smear them... you are only spreading the spores... and the "love-hate relationship" I read in this brief piece reminds me of the sweet taste and powerful poison found in mushrooms and the mystery of which is really which.  The last phrase of the poem is unclear for me... like forced rhyme... I've kicked many a toadstool with bare foot... morels are a real delicacy here and are plentiful this time of year above 4,000 feet elevation...that's above the poison oak line, too. Actually this poem is very sensual.  Thanks for sharing it, Karen.  Dewell
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    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: How to Spread Mushrooms

    Post  Karen on Fri May 29, 2015 8:13 pm

    Your puzzling over the last line led me to one I like better.

    You may not love hard enough
    to give mushrooms what they need.

    I envy you the morels!
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    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    two lines

    Post  tsukany on Sat May 30, 2015 5:36 am

    Karen

    I like the new ending better.  Two lines give me trouble:  Recommended (shift to past tense feel) and ephemeral (seems the tone doesn't match).

    Mushrooms leads me to morels and that is a good thing.  Thus the "violence" of stanza two seems contrary.

    Nice offering again

    Todd

    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Mushrooming Cheer

    Post  Pat on Sat May 30, 2015 1:04 pm

    It calls for the rhyme.  Fits the subject matter. 
    Makes me think of a cheer where cheerleaders call for violence against the opposing team!
    Love and kick was strange combination for me at first.   Is this an oxymoron?  When you say Recommended violence, the persona is obviously angry,  you could just speak of  sad, mad. 
    Reminds me of my telling my children they could not hit each other, but they could take a broom and beat the oak tree just to release tension.   Felt good to know they had an outlet they'd not get in trouble for.  Is that what is happening here?  And are you saying if you love hard enough, big enough, that you may get so angry that you rage, scream, kick something like a mushroom you have admired/enjoyed?  Hope something of these words help.
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    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: How to Spread Mushrooms

    Post  Karen on Sat May 30, 2015 4:24 pm

    Well, fritter.  I was mysterious, which wasn't my intent.  I am fascinated by mushrooms.  Sometimes I recline on the trail to get an eye-level picture.  A Man of Mushrooms told me if I love 'em, stomp 'em!  Like Dewell said, it spreads the spores ... more mushrooms!  Central Arkansas has been mushroom heaven this spring.  I just can't bring myself to stomp.  Too beautiful.  Maybe changing the last line to "to give mushrooms what they need"  will ground the poem in its literal meaning more firmly.

    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    My apologies, Karen.

    Post  Pat on Sat May 30, 2015 4:50 pm

    So you are actually called to spread mushrooms.  Well, of course. .. . hence, your title.  Duh.  They spread like dandelions, well, sort of.  I had no idea that is how to spread mushrooms.  Go with it.   Dewell and Todd caught it, but I did not.  Probably my lack of knowledge of mushrooms.  I do not go mushroom hunting.  I know people who do though.  : )  I simply did not focus on the title.  It's all here.
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    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: How to Spread Mushrooms

    Post  Karen on Sat May 30, 2015 5:27 pm

    It's a pretty scary read if you take out the mushroom reference.  Could be my dark side exits any chink it finds.

    My first impulse was to post a poem about the big silver carp I found swimming in Soccer Field #17, near the Arkansas River.  I like that poem for the memory it keeps, but I expect I would have had some 'splainin to do!

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