The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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    tsukany

    Posts : 586
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Reactions? Does this require more context to be interesting?

    Post  tsukany on Mon Oct 26, 2015 7:03 am

    Meeting Saint Rose of Lima, When I was Fifty-Seven

    Sometimes I feel slighted,
    down-right cheated, that
    my religion considers all believers
    saints--pure and humble.  Hard to imagine

    three hundred years into the future
    to see verse written, honoring
    the Patron Saint of Grammar
    and Bad Poetry, inspiring

    young devotees to rub peppers
           on cheeks to cover handsomeness,
    to bathe in harsh soap, or to uncover
    terribly long sentences from centuries past

    and search high and low
    for a superior large piece of paper
    on which to diagram them,
           (Heaven forbid) in ink.

    --Todd Sukany 12 Oct 2015

    Karen

    Posts : 283
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: Reactions? Does this require more context to be interesting?

    Post  Karen on Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:10 am

    Oh no, this poem is quite interesting as it is.  I like it tremendously, Todd. 

    "terribly long sentences from centuries past"

    "a superior large piece of paper"

    What I enjoy is seeing your imagination in play after considering a saint.  This is what I want in my own poetry, to observe, and then spin my observation in my psychic blender.  It entertains me in a way that doesn't require anyone else to validate it.  If someone else does validate it, I am thrilled.

    Good one.

    Dennis 20
    Guest

    Roses are violets aren't

    Post  Dennis 20 on Tue Oct 27, 2015 10:22 am

    I am laughing because this is what my poems start out like before I critque.  I don't know why I am telling you guys this. When they come back from your eyes it seems like they still were like this!  I think this one can be put in the can.  It is done.  This is the longest poem I can ever remember you writing and you have written it for effect.  Not only does it say it, it shows it. Well done.

    Pat

    Posts : 620
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    St. Rose

    Post  Pat on Thu Oct 29, 2015 12:38 pm

    Maybe I need to apologize.  Because I know you like to play, I did not trust that this was a true saint.   Hmmmm.  I guess that says more about me than you.  Anyway, Todd, I looked up St. Rose of the Catholic Church.  Lots of St. Rose Churches!  : )   I laugh at myself.   Looks like they came into being around 1911?   Yep, hard to imagine St. Todd, St. Dennis, St. Dewell, St. Karen, St. Pat.   Well, I do know there's a St. Pat Church in Memphis (may be Irish.)   Anyway, I too am from such a faith.  We are saints by belief.  It is hard to accept, isn't it.  I love the direction you took the poem.  It is hilarious!  Highly interesting, as it is.  Stanza 2, line 2:  I wondered if it wouldn't help if you dropped to see and wrote:  verse will be written honoring/.... and why indent S 3, line 2 and S 4, last line?   Curious.  I love all the examples of what's to come, just commenting on the indent.  Great poem.   I like all the imagined specifics.  Thank you!

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 351
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    TODD SAINT ROSE

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Thu Oct 29, 2015 6:34 pm

    I like the simple straight forward beginning followed by the elongated near trivia to prove the point.  And pity poor students of the future diagramming anything!

    Well done.  Poem is complete for me.  Dewell

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