The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    My goal here is to communicate that I find nurturing in these books. Help!

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    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    My goal here is to communicate that I find nurturing in these books. Help!

    Post  Pat on Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:57 am

    When the Sun Goes Down



    It may just be the way

    I run from the bothersome,

    the petty, the mundane:

    my eyes peruse the pine shelves

    of my living room.



    This afternoon, the weak

    winter sun comes through

    a west window and slides down

    the bound books

    that have long surrounded me

    with their magic.



    Here, I am walled in

    by many spines of hardbacks.

    Titles draw me, the paper

    within comforts my fingers,

    the words speak to my heart.

    Here, I reunion with a family

    of authors and poets (some dead,

    some alive.) These folks

    never tire of blessing me

    with their wisdom, their stories,

    their lives.



    Like a child to grandparents,

    it feels right having them near

    when the sun goes down.
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    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Love It

    Post  tsukany on Fri Jan 27, 2012 7:47 am

    Pat...really like this offering. I would like to mess with line breaks and post those musings later. Really nice! I think this is a contest winner.

    Todd
    avatar
    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    OOPS I went Crazy

    Post  tsukany on Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:35 am

    Forgive me in advance and please ignore all that follows, but I had great fun.

    When the Sun Goes Down

    My eyes read the pine shelves of my den
    as a weak winter sun comes through a west window
    and slides down the bound books that have long surrounded me (I love your vowel sounds in this line)
    with their magic. Titles draw me, the paper within comforts my fingers,
    the words speak, reuniting our family, folks who never tire
    of blessing with their wisdom, their stories, their lives.
    Like a child to grandparents, it feels right having them
    near.

    dennis20
    Guest

    Re: My goal here is to communicate that I find nurturing in these books. Help!

    Post  dennis20 on Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:31 pm

     

     

    I like the picture. The second paragraph is magic. The setting ( winter ) is a time for being cosy by the fire snuggled in a book.  I always think you are too wordy in your poems so I would have omitted the first line. I like that the spines have you surrounded.  Like soldiers or something.  The last para shows the comfort zone that books bring.  Changes from a picture to a portrait. I think the setting is as much the poem as the thought about books.  D

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 360
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    Books Pat

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:26 pm

    Lovely... thoughtful...

    rather spiritual poem. It moves me.

    Pat, there is something about that last stanza that is rough for me to read.

    Feels like it is upside down... please look at it again.

    Thanks for sharing it.

    Dewell

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    Re: My goal here is to communicate that I find nurturing in these books. Help!

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