Is there enough connective tissue to hold this poem together? I love the line about flooded fields but it may fit better in another (Karen's) poem. Can you see this old man or should I say more about him? Does the poem end early? Dewell
The Silent Song
On his knees beside her stone
He traces etchings...
Her life summed between two dates
Carved in marble
Christened with salt and water
From weary eyes
Blank as flooded fields...
He reaches across her breast,
Places a gnarled hand on an
Uncarved stone,
Lifts his face to a pewter sky,
Sings his silent song.
Dewell H. Byrd
The Silent Song
On his knees beside her stone
He traces etchings...
Her life summed between two dates
Carved in marble
Christened with salt and water
From weary eyes
Blank as flooded fields...
He reaches across her breast,
Places a gnarled hand on an
Uncarved stone,
Lifts his face to a pewter sky,
Sings his silent song.
Dewell H. Byrd