The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Late to the Party

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    Admin
    Admin

    Posts : 24
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Late to the Party

    Post  Admin on Thu Apr 28, 2016 6:27 am

    Wedding Gift

    Decades of tossing out junk.
    Today, a fish tank . . .

    loss, a dream
    of idle hours,

    one more pleasure
    given away to a stranger.

    --Todd Sukany 27 Apr 2016

    Pat

    Posts : 671
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    You are not really late to this party....I think I came early.

    Post  Pat on Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:29 am

    Todd, it's simple and short and I like it.  The title tells us why it's hard to throw out the tank. It is the metaphor.  Some magazine will happily snatch it up.

    Dennis 20
    Guest

    Get the net

    Post  Dennis 20 on Fri Apr 29, 2016 8:35 am

    Todd,   I like the sweet picture in this short report of a long event.  I toyed with using the word "lost" instead of loss and finally concluded I would use neither.  My reasoning is this:  With the first line I get the picture of junk in the attilc that is finally going out.  I see it not as a loss of dream but the sharing of dream.  If it has been stored and now seen as junk then the dream is memory that won't be lost or a loss either.  Good poem.

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 374
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    Late ... Wedding Gift

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Apr 30, 2016 11:24 am

    Todd, I especially like that ending... given away to a stranger ( I recently viewed a stranger wearing  a suit I had given to the thrift shop... real mixed emotions.)  Lots of meat in this short poem. 
    That was Friday.  Now on Saturday I read, perhaps misread, a very sad poem.  The giving away the last debris of a dissolving or divorced marriage.   BUMMER!  Anyone else see that possibility in this poem?  Thanks for wrinkling my brow.  Dewell
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    Karen

    Posts : 310
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 65
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: Late to the Party

    Post  Karen on Sun May 01, 2016 10:15 am

    I'll make the appreciation of the topic unanimous.  As do all readers, I spun it to my own heart.  It doesn't matter what I give away, I will always have the memory of what it meant, or failed to mean, to me.

    As Dewell did, I could see alternate meanings.  Good thinker poem.  I like that.

    Dennis, this is where I needle you about critiquing my poem about the silver carp swimming through the Burns Park soccer fields after the river flood.  I do appreciate that you complimented me for seeing beauty in a dead fish, but the fish might have taken exception to your characterization.

    Dennis 20
    Guest

    A fish by any other name

    Post  Dennis 20 on Thu May 05, 2016 2:40 pm

    Hula Hooper,  Aren't you surprised no one asked about the name?  LOL about the fish in the ditch.  I envy sometimes the ability that you have to take the mundane things and make such beautiful pictures because you lay out the picture as we would see it, but can't find the words to reveal it.  Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
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    Karen

    Posts : 310
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 65
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: Late to the Party

    Post  Karen on Thu May 05, 2016 3:01 pm

    Mmm-WAH!  (big kiss)

    Don't think you're teasing me about the hula hooping.  I'm dead serious about it now.  I'm doing a poetry feature at The Local Show in Hot Springs on May 27th and I'm BYOHH (Bringing My Own Hula Hoop).

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