The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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    tsukany
    tsukany


    Posts : 924
    Join date : 2011-05-21

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    Post  tsukany Fri Aug 26, 2016 3:43 pm

    at first notice

    one hundred and thirty red
    petals swirl together
    on the cobblestones of Paris.  

    soon three hundred
    sixty-eight more join and
    now the spiral races

    counterclockwise and
    a sane world consorts
    to celebrate

    life, mourning,
    and the sanctity
    of a moment.

    --Todd Sukany  26 Aug 2016
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    Pat


    Posts : 1162
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Last one to the Party? Empty I saw this on FB! I loved it!

    Post  Pat Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:38 pm

    It captured me. . .  red petals spiraling. . .  for me, it looked like a dance, but I can accept a race.  Yes, it was a moment to celebrate. 

    I like that you used lower-case letters. . .  all the same.  Yes, the sane world looked boring beside the petals soaring, reaching, dancing, racing.  I love your word "consort".  I would never have said or thought consorted, but yes, the sane do this.  I am guilty, for sure.

    Well done.
    Karen
    Karen


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    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 70
    Location : North Little Rock

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    Post  Karen Sat Aug 27, 2016 2:40 pm

    Concisely beautiful, like the moment.

    Because the poem is brief, I want the title to set me in the space of the poem.  I found the poem enigmatic until Pat commented.  Then I knew immediately what you were capturing.

    Not "wind dance" (a poor excuse for a title), but a bit of guidance perhaps.
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    Dewell H. Byrd


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    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 93
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    Post  Dewell H. Byrd Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:14 pm

    Beautiful poem!   "Sancity Of A Moment" might be a better title... I still can't find spell check on this site.  The counterclockwise movement caught me... like erasing something terrible happening with beauty defying time...
    The poem is haunting.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Dewell
    tsukany
    tsukany


    Posts : 924
    Join date : 2011-05-21

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    Post  tsukany Sat Aug 27, 2016 9:24 pm

    I hope this helps identify the symbol of this poem (based on the Facebook Paris Art video)

    Saint-Denis 11/13

    one hundred and thirty red
    petals swirl together
    on the cobblestones of Paris.  

    soon three hundred
    sixty-eight more join and
    now the spiral races

    counterclockwise and
    a sane world consorts
    to celebrate

    life, mourning, and
    the sanctity
    of a moment.

    --Todd Sukany  26 Aug 2016
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    Ben Johnson
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    Post  Ben Johnson Sat Aug 27, 2016 10:26 pm

    Todd,  I saw that on FB as well.  Beautiful thought to go with the swirling petals.  I'm glad Pat mentioned FB or I would have been lost.  I'm not sure I like the title with the picture.  I think I was more awe-struck than what your title suggests since I saw the picture as it was happening. I wouldn't have thought consorts either.  Good imagines since I knew the picture. 

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