Dewells' Poem. He's asking about the last two lines.

I want to keep processing your poem, but the first image is so fresh that I wonder if it _is_ the poem. The church steeple and the moon as a cue ball. THAT is not something I've ever seen or thought. WOW is too simple a description for what that did/does to me. Thanks.

but Dewell, I wonder if each stanza could not be a poem? or perhaps turned into poems? poems of imagery. The first stanza is the strongest one. (my nickel opinion.) The other three stanzas may even weaken the poem if you leave them in. The most memorable lines are in stanza one. I would try to make three or four poems out of this. Your title may have to change if you consider this: ask yourself: What is the poem about? Good job. Pat

but I think we responded to the whole poem. If we took it stanza by stanza (as different poems), I'd say "Keep them. Good lines."

I'm sorry. I just couldn't read it as a whole piece. It seems like different poems. Pat

 

 

 

I first thought the poem was about the moon. You do have strong imagery of the moon here.  Since it is about the bird ( from the title ) you could have omited the "fishing bird" in the second para, since that has been established earlier.  The "fish frozen" changes my preconceived idea that this was a summer or spring scene. The fish and the heron have eyed each other in the above para. You actually have three elements in the last para.  The moon, bird ( implied ), and fish.  I like the last two line, but they actually make the fish the focus in this thought.  I do like the imagery.  Good poem.  Dennis