Last one to the Party?

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Last one to the Party?

Post  tsukany on Fri Aug 26, 2016 3:43 pm

at first notice

one hundred and thirty red
petals swirl together
on the cobblestones of Paris.  

soon three hundred
sixty-eight more join and
now the spiral races

counterclockwise and
a sane world consorts
to celebrate

life, mourning,
and the sanctity
of a moment.

--Todd Sukany  26 Aug 2016
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tsukany

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I saw this on FB! I loved it!

Post  Pat on Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:38 pm

It captured me. . .  red petals spiraling. . .  for me, it looked like a dance, but I can accept a race.  Yes, it was a moment to celebrate. 

I like that you used lower-case letters. . .  all the same.  Yes, the sane world looked boring beside the petals soaring, reaching, dancing, racing.  I love your word "consort".  I would never have said or thought consorted, but yes, the sane do this.  I am guilty, for sure.

Well done.

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Re: Last one to the Party?

Post  Karen on Sat Aug 27, 2016 2:40 pm

Concisely beautiful, like the moment.

Because the poem is brief, I want the title to set me in the space of the poem.  I found the poem enigmatic until Pat commented.  Then I knew immediately what you were capturing.

Not "wind dance" (a poor excuse for a title), but a bit of guidance perhaps.

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at first notice

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:14 pm

Beautiful poem!   "Sancity Of A Moment" might be a better title... I still can't find spell check on this site.  The counterclockwise movement caught me... like erasing something terrible happening with beauty defying time...
The poem is haunting.
Thanks for sharing.
Dewell

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Title change

Post  tsukany on Sat Aug 27, 2016 9:24 pm

I hope this helps identify the symbol of this poem (based on the Facebook Paris Art video)

Saint-Denis 11/13

one hundred and thirty red
petals swirl together
on the cobblestones of Paris.  

soon three hundred
sixty-eight more join and
now the spiral races

counterclockwise and
a sane world consorts
to celebrate

life, mourning, and
the sanctity
of a moment.

--Todd Sukany  26 Aug 2016
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tsukany

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Paris is still in France

Post  Ben Johnson on Sat Aug 27, 2016 10:26 pm

Todd,  I saw that on FB as well.  Beautiful thought to go with the swirling petals.  I'm glad Pat mentioned FB or I would have been lost.  I'm not sure I like the title with the picture.  I think I was more awe-struck than what your title suggests since I saw the picture as it was happening. I wouldn't have thought consorts either.  Good imagines since I knew the picture. 

Ben Johnson
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