The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Last one to the Party?

    Share
    avatar
    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Last one to the Party?

    Post  tsukany on Fri Aug 26, 2016 3:43 pm

    at first notice

    one hundred and thirty red
    petals swirl together
    on the cobblestones of Paris.  

    soon three hundred
    sixty-eight more join and
    now the spiral races

    counterclockwise and
    a sane world consorts
    to celebrate

    life, mourning,
    and the sanctity
    of a moment.

    --Todd Sukany  26 Aug 2016

    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    I saw this on FB! I loved it!

    Post  Pat on Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:38 pm

    It captured me. . .  red petals spiraling. . .  for me, it looked like a dance, but I can accept a race.  Yes, it was a moment to celebrate. 

    I like that you used lower-case letters. . .  all the same.  Yes, the sane world looked boring beside the petals soaring, reaching, dancing, racing.  I love your word "consort".  I would never have said or thought consorted, but yes, the sane do this.  I am guilty, for sure.

    Well done.
    avatar
    Karen

    Posts : 291
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: Last one to the Party?

    Post  Karen on Sat Aug 27, 2016 2:40 pm

    Concisely beautiful, like the moment.

    Because the poem is brief, I want the title to set me in the space of the poem.  I found the poem enigmatic until Pat commented.  Then I knew immediately what you were capturing.

    Not "wind dance" (a poor excuse for a title), but a bit of guidance perhaps.

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 360
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    at first notice

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Aug 27, 2016 6:14 pm

    Beautiful poem!   "Sancity Of A Moment" might be a better title... I still can't find spell check on this site.  The counterclockwise movement caught me... like erasing something terrible happening with beauty defying time...
    The poem is haunting.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Dewell
    avatar
    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Title change

    Post  tsukany on Sat Aug 27, 2016 9:24 pm

    I hope this helps identify the symbol of this poem (based on the Facebook Paris Art video)

    Saint-Denis 11/13

    one hundred and thirty red
    petals swirl together
    on the cobblestones of Paris.  

    soon three hundred
    sixty-eight more join and
    now the spiral races

    counterclockwise and
    a sane world consorts
    to celebrate

    life, mourning, and
    the sanctity
    of a moment.

    --Todd Sukany  26 Aug 2016

    Ben Johnson
    Guest

    Paris is still in France

    Post  Ben Johnson on Sat Aug 27, 2016 10:26 pm

    Todd,  I saw that on FB as well.  Beautiful thought to go with the swirling petals.  I'm glad Pat mentioned FB or I would have been lost.  I'm not sure I like the title with the picture.  I think I was more awe-struck than what your title suggests since I saw the picture as it was happening. I wouldn't have thought consorts either.  Good imagines since I knew the picture. 

    Sponsored content

    Re: Last one to the Party?

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:03 am