The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Happy Holiday Season

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    tsukany

    Posts : 609
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Happy Holiday Season

    Post  tsukany on Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:51 am

    Thanksgiving

    The proper antediluvian method for divining
    mist, fog, or rain on a moonless night

    remains an eastern look,
    facing the horizon and the house

    on the hill, the one with the sodium-
    vapor lamp over the detached garage.

    --Todd Sukany 22 Nov 2016

    Pat

    Posts : 655
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Oh dear, where is the dictionary?

    Post  Pat on Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:16 am

    Okay, I had to look up a word.  Guess which one.  : )  I like that it is one sentence.  Good job on figuring out how to do that.  Whatever made you discover this about fog, mist, etc?  Oh, the things we are thankful for--  sometimes it's a sodium vapor lamp.  I like that you combined antediluvian with detached garage.  Old, old, old with contemporary. This makes me smile. I too am thankful for light.

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 367
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    THANKSGIVING

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:10 am

    Short and powerful... I've come to expect this from Todd.  And a challenge for this reader to think instead of the usual brushing past a poem.  That anti-whatever threw me momentarily and I wondered if there might be a smaller, simpler word...  The contrast in this poem catches me up and reminds me of the lights on the barns common in our area.  Nice job, Todd.  Dewell
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    Karen

    Posts : 305
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: Happy Holiday Season

    Post  Karen on Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:58 pm

    Along with Dewell, the contrast in the poem catches me up.  And that's what I want to be.  Caught up.

    Antediluvian makes the poem for me.  This poem has a quality I enjoy when I find it in my own work:  snapshot.

    The use of antediluvian elevates this poem and spreads it out.  Makes it more than a View from Todd's House.

    Todd, your brevity rocks.

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    Re: Happy Holiday Season

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