BAPTIZING HOLE

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BAPTIZING HOLE

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:50 pm

BAPTIZING HOLE... I first drafted this poem, all 31 lines, in 2002 and I've honed it several times since as current size will witness.  I hope to make it a featured poem in a chapbook about growing up in the south.  All comments appreciated.  Dewell

BAPTIZING HOLE

Papa sez never go fishing downstream
From where Rev. Billy Bob does his
Baptizing.

Something about catching a catfish
What's been eating them sins
That got washed away.

I paid no never mind; worms, line.
And cane, bobber, too.
Leaned back to swat skeeters.

Caught me one awful big cat.
Gutted and skinned him out
As a special gift

For Miss Utley who flunked me out
Of seventh grade English class.

     -Dewell H. Byrd

Dewell H. Byrd

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Cute revenge.

Post  Pat on Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:46 am

I like the colloquialisms.  Local color everywhere. Rev. Billy or Brother Billy?  Rev seems high class.  Bro seems more earthy.  Still, I got the point.  Fun ending. Easy to read. My best to you with your chapbook.

Pat

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Re: BAPTIZING HOLE

Post  Karen on Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:28 pm

DANG, I like this. 

Dewell, I think you've honed it right close to perfection.

Two things I do want different: 

Reverend instead of Rev.

Cane and bobber instead of And cane, bobber

I admire the spare style of this little tale.  Sets it off to a T.
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Movement

Post  tsukany on Mon Nov 28, 2016 5:14 am

Dewell

I wonder if the flow of information might benefit from moving stanza three to stanza one.

I am not convinced of "baptizing" as its own line.

I believe WORD is not your friend for capitalizing each first word in the line.

What about something grammatically amiss in the final couplet?

Good one again

Todd
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