poetry storm

Happy National Poetry Month!  I am awash with poetry.  Week 1: read poets, alternating living and dead.  Week 2: write a poem a day.  Week 3: edit.  Week 4: repeat weeks 1 and 3. 

I read at a barbeque joint, a fancy-schmancy soul food cafe, and Riverfront Park.  I went to a Teen Slam.  I did an ekphrastic workshop at the Laman Library.  I wrote Poetry on Demand at the Argenta Art Walk.  This weekend I get to write it at the downtown Little Rock library, read at a brewery, and wallow in Arkansas Literary Festival.  I met my best poetry friend in the world at a gun show last weekend where he was selling his walking sticks.  We cussed and discussed until we got thrown out of the fish fry, then moved to Motel 6 to argue some more. 

My heart is full.

Here's one of my poems from week 1. 

SUDDEN STORM

unexpected
gumball chatter
rooftop patter
gutters rattle
empty trash can
shudders hard

judders live
across the lawn
hops the sidewalk
jumps the ditch
barrels down
the boulevard

lawn chairs dance
into the street
bewildered cushions
lose their seats
pillowed clouds
loose rain in sheets

blanket covers
sleepless yard

Karen,  Your storm is here in my back yard!! You been busy. Glad you are having such a great time and promoting poetry, too. Love the poem!  Question and suggestion. Is the title multiple choice?  You have three lines above the poem.  I opt for C. because it seems to go along with the theme of the poem best.
BTW, Why no lighting or thunder in such a boisterous flurry?

Suggestion:  I stumble here without punctuation  Last three line>>>

loose rain in sheets,

blankets, covers,
sleepless yard.

Karen

I like the music of the first stanza but you move away from it very quickly.  Can you return to it throughout the poem?

Todd

Dennis, the title is SUDDEN STORM.  The two lines before are just yack.  Maybe this poem was handwriting on the wall, because the storm found most of us in Arkansas Saturday night!  Lightning and thunder?  Good suggestions.

This poem has been through more edits than anything I've written in a while.  It was scarcely a poem at all in its infancy.  It's funny that you mentioned musicality, Todd.  I'm struggling immensely with a different poem on the same issue.  The other poem's first verse sounds like a calliope to me.  I love that feel, but I can't find it in the 2nd stanza.

Maybe if I can solve the problem here, I will be able to solve it in both poems.

but here are my afterthoughts:   The play in first stanza is those great sound childlike words.  I love words like crashing, clapping, jeering, dropping.  You really hear it and see it.  Flashing, maybe even transcending or ascending?  Are you aware that in the first stanza you did noun-verb, noun-verb. . . . ?  Nice.  Your poem makes me think of summer camp.  : )  Great fun.

l like the chatter and these two-word lines.
Don't understand... juddering live.
What is juddering?
And the wind... where is the wind in this storm?
Reminds me of "Where The Sidewalk Ends"...
When you solve that "music" problem I think
you will have a classic.
Dewell