The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Random thoughts behind the glasses

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    Dennis 2012
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    Random thoughts behind the glasses

    Post  Dennis 2012 on Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:54 am

    I stood in the yard and witnessed one more miracle of the age.  How awesome!  Looking forward to 2024.

    The Open Universe


    They continues to come together,
    these once in a lifetime events.
     
    Aw sure, lunar eclipse—mundane
    fodder for short timers, moon us.
     
    But those born back in the 1900’s
    witnessed Hale-Bopp.  Maybe,
     
    the other solar eclipse or
    the “Age of Aquarius.”
     
    “The Now Generation” has seen
    alignment of planets.
     
    While, we know the tides of time shift,
    we question Pluto, and seek life.
     
                    Out there,
    “The finger, having writ, moves on.”
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    tsukany

    Posts : 592
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Title

    Post  tsukany on Fri Aug 25, 2017 12:44 pm

    Dennis

    I think "Random Thoughts behind the Glasses" makes a strong title.

    Pat

    Posts : 630
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Randon thoughts. . . .

    Post  Pat on Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:12 pm

    If you renamed the poem, Random Thoughts Behind the Glasses, then it is the title that holds the poem together.  And you prepare us for what's ahead:  random thoughts.  Plus that's a more interesting title to me.  Good suggestion, I think, from Todd and yourself.

    I like that you used couplets.  The last two are strong lines.  I esp. like that you centered out there......
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    Karen

    Posts : 287
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: Random thoughts behind the glasses

    Post  Karen on Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:01 pm

    Make me the third vote for Random Thoughts Behind the Glasses.  I particularly like questioning Pluto.  And the centering of Out there.

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 356
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    The Open Universe

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Aug 26, 2017 12:59 pm

    Yes, RANDOM THOUGHTS... is a better title for this poem... it is almost a history lesson and I
    find myself stopping and relishing where I was in some of the events you mention...
    Do you need an s on continues?  I like the fact that the poem leaves an opening for future events with that last line.  Dewell

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