The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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grateful to have most of these

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Karen

Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

grateful to have most of these

Post  Karen on Mon Nov 20, 2017 5:51 pm

This morning at 4:30 I was ungrateful.  I wrote How can I start again.  How can I start again.  How can I start again.  When did I stop.

I didn't feel capable of writing.  The timer on my cell phone ticked down.  I had nothing.

I felt better when I realized I had set the timer for 15 hours.  Not 15 minutes.

Grateful to have most of these, most days.

what a poet wants

the right pencil
a decent chair
a third cup of coffee
occasional sleep

an honest critic
a kind reader
a self-sufficient cat
tolerant friends

a perfect cloud
relative silence
enough blackberries
a workable prayer

good beer
a passionate agent
a patient lover
a present muse
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tsukany

Posts : 609
Join date : 2011-05-21

Initial Knee Jerk

Post  tsukany on Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:17 am

Karen

I like the topic and the treatment. 

My response was to have the last line of the poem "good beer."  I like it better than "a good beer" too.

Thanks for the fun

Todd

Pat

Posts : 655
Join date : 2011-09-12

What a poet wants

Post  Pat on Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:35 pm

List poem.  I like it.  I also like Todd's suggestions on stopping it with "good beer."  I stopped at decent chair.  Can you describe your best chair with one adjective that is descriptive rather than telling an opinion?  Same with perfect cloud.  Maybe white cloud, cumulus cloud, puffy cloud?  The poem makes me smile, and yet..... so much truth here.

Dewell H. Byrd

Posts : 367
Join date : 2012-01-05
Age : 87
Location : Central Point, OR

WHAT A POET WANTS

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sun Nov 26, 2017 12:49 pm

Your list also tells what a poet NEEDS... at least in my neck of the woods.  I like suggestions PAT made about adjectives.  Good beer is a good stopping point.  It seems to take me back to the first stanza.  Thanks for sharing this tight/list poem.  Dewell
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Karen

Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

Re: grateful to have most of these

Post  Karen on Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:37 pm

Dog, I'm slow on the uptake.  It took all three of you saying it for me to hear STOP WITH GOOD BEER.  LEAVE OFF THE 3 LINES AFTER IT.

Well.  I like this suggestion very much.  Thank you!
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tsukany

Posts : 609
Join date : 2011-05-21

Moment of Clarity

Post  tsukany on Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:55 am

Karen

Here's what I meant to say about the last stanza:

a passionate agent
a patient lover
a present muse
good beer
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Karen

Posts : 306
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

Re: grateful to have most of these

Post  Karen on Mon Nov 27, 2017 9:05 am

Slow learner here.  I'll try that on for size.

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