The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Domestic problems

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Karen

Posts : 294
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

Domestic problems

Post  Karen on Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:19 am

Greetings Poets,

I missed you in January.  I did get to see Dennis/Ben in real life a couple of weeks ago.  All is well in North Little Rock.  Almost all.

Mea Culpa, Microwave

I know you can do more.

Yet here I am 
again
with my daily request:

Heat a cup of water.

You are willing,
but I must find a way
to communicate
with the limited vocabulary
of 1, 4, 7,
the only functional row
of your keypad.

1, 1, 7:
not hot enough.

4, 1, 1:
information has it 
the result will be
volcanic.

I settle:
START times 3.
A paper towel
will be required.

I apologize.

For not replacing your bulb.
For not resetting your clock.
For never cooking
anything.
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tsukany

Posts : 600
Join date : 2011-05-21

Fun poem

Post  tsukany on Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:49 pm

Karen

Fun poem for sure.  I wonder if you need the paper towel lines?  I wonder if you can add another Latinism to the poem toward the middle-end?

"Information has it" seems to distant in tone for the poem.

Nice poem

Todd

Ben Johnson
Guest

Numbers don't lie

Post  Ben Johnson on Sat Feb 24, 2018 9:17 am

Karen,  I like the mundane.  It is so often overlooked when we look for something to write about and yet, we experience these events in daily life. I think this paints the picture about as well as one could.  We can all relate to how we would improvise when impliments malfunction.  The title is very good since we are prone to apologize without thinking.  I don't have any good suggestions, but I don't like the lines, "I settle" and "I apologize." You have already brought me to that point in the title.  Good poem.

Dennis who has to sign in a Ben

Pat

Posts : 642
Join date : 2011-09-12

my fault : )

Post  Pat on Sat Feb 24, 2018 2:35 pm

Oh, I know a lot about "my fault".  I cannot speak or read Latin so I went to my friend google.

Delightful poem.  It takes care of you, but you don't take care of it? 

I wondered about approaching the microwave as your Latin friend.  You are speaking his/her language.  Not your native tongue. 

No apology needed.  Just a dance you do with the microwave since you do not cook.  It's your helper.

What if your last line said, "never cooking anything for you".

I'd just drop the information line.

Dewell H. Byrd

Posts : 360
Join date : 2012-01-05
Age : 87
Location : Central Point, OR

Mea Cupla Microwave

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:33 pm

I love that inferred personification of the microwave (Radar Range).
That gives the hint that we still slightly fear electronics in our lives.
Are you interested in asking the microwave if it accepts your apology?
A real fun poem.  I've been there and done that.
Dewell

Markus

Posts : 10
Join date : 2018-02-22

Re: Domestic problems

Post  Markus on Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:22 am

Karen, what fun!  I love the numbering that goes on, which is the essence of using the machine.  Have you thought about building 9-1-1 into the works?  Or that other renown number: 666?

Markus
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Karen

Posts : 294
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

Re: Domestic problems

Post  Karen on Thu Mar 01, 2018 11:47 am

Oooooo.  Like the idea of adding more numbers!

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