The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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AM I ARKANSAS ... or not?

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Karen

Posts : 294
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

AM I ARKANSAS ... or not?

Post  Karen on Tue Mar 27, 2018 7:38 pm

Critique please, for this contest poem.  Any form, 30 lines or less, theme relating to Arkansas.  I also encourage you to ENTER!  Poet must reside in Arkansas or have Arkansas roots, which *may* be all of us.

1st prize $1000, 2nd prize $500 (it has increased), 3rd prize $200.  Deadline Apr 15.  You can find the contest by Googling "Hot Springs Arts & The Park 2018 events" and searching for "The Dr. Paul Tucker Poetry Prize."  I wrangle poets every year for the festival at The Poet is IN, a non-stop poetry reading booth.  Y'all come.

Here's my draft.  Let me have it! 

I AM ARKANSAS

I am Ouachita.  I am Mountain.
I am hardwood.  I am pine.
I am diamond.  Thermal spring.
Fern and forest.
I am Ouachita.  I am Arkansas.

I am River.  I am Valley.
I am blackberry and tornado.
Sediment.  Settlement.
I make cities.
I am River.  I am Arkansas.

I am Ozark.  High plateau.
Crested Iris.  Limestone bluff.
Ocean made me.  Caves invade me.
Waterfall.  Elk call.
I am Ozark.  I am Arkansas.

I am Lowland.  Coastal plain.
I am wildlife.  Wading bird.
I am bauxite, timber, oil.
Lake and Loblolly.
I am Lowland.  I am Arkansas.

I was island.  I am Ridge.
I am orchard.  Rolling hills.
Glaciers moved me.  I am earthquake.
Yellow Poplar
I am Ridge.  I am Arkansas.

I am Delta.  I was Gulf.
I am mud and flood and farm.
Rice and soybean.  I am flyway.
Fertile.  Rich.
I am Delta.  I am Arkansas.

Dewell H. Byrd

Posts : 360
Join date : 2012-01-05
Age : 87
Location : Central Point, OR

I AM ARKANSAS

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Wed Mar 28, 2018 9:39 pm

YES, Karen!
I see it.
BUT...
Where are the people?
Dewell

Pat

Posts : 642
Join date : 2011-09-12

Reponse to I am Arkansas

Post  Pat on Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:53 pm

Karen, I know Arkansas, so I can follow the terrain.  I like all that, but it sounds like Arkansas is a state of being.  I liked your words like earthquake, tornado, wading bird.  Things I can see whether I'm an Arkansan or not. 

Thanks for inviting us and making us aware.  I did see this somewhere else, but I'd forgotten. 

The critters of Arkansas might liven it up.  Maybe each stanza could start with I am.....  but then I'm wanting strong verbs, maybe other poetic devices too. 

I'm proud of you for entering the contest.  Go get that prize!
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tsukany

Posts : 600
Join date : 2011-05-21

Dramatic situation

Post  tsukany on Fri Mar 30, 2018 3:30 pm

Karen

I was waiting for more than description.  If this were a poem not for a contest, what would draw you to the ending?

Todd
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Karen

Posts : 294
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

Re: AM I ARKANSAS ... or not?

Post  Karen on Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:49 pm

I despair.  Mining ancient computer files and brain cells for evidence I've ever lived in Arkansas.  Maybe I spent the night in the airport once?

Pat

Posts : 642
Join date : 2011-09-12

Hang in there, Karen.

Post  Pat on Fri Mar 30, 2018 10:27 pm

It'll come together.  You still have 2 weeks.  And when you are rested? , it'll come together.  I think it just needs some action going on. . . . You've got the form, but what do you want to say other than it's pretty or nice.  Maybe read some big-name poets and see what they did.  That's what I do when I am a big blank.  I read their works.  One line can remind us of something in our lives.  Then I'm off and running.  You'll get it.

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