The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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very short

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Karen

Posts : 309
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 64
Location : North Little Rock

very short

Post  Karen on Tue Jun 26, 2018 6:48 am

I pray for the soul of a snake

because he was sleek
because he was beautiful
because my attention
brought the shovel to his head
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tsukany

Posts : 615
Join date : 2011-05-21

Good fun

Post  tsukany on Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:39 am

Karen

I love that you made me question past tense until the last line.  Wonderful.

I saw a large, but skinny, black snake while running Monday.  I still think the best snakes are like yours:  twice the fun.

Todd

Pat

Posts : 665
Join date : 2011-09-12

short, indeed

Post  Pat on Sat Jun 30, 2018 2:41 pm

Second time around.  My computer is struggling.  Trying again.

Help me by naming it:  black snake?  rattlesnake? copperhead?   Black snakes do no harm.

Attention?  That stopped me, though I know you are intently watching it.  But was it might or fear that brought it down.  Did you slam it on its head?  I chop heads off with a hoe.  Jimmy shoots copperheads.    We breathe with relief.  He got mad at me for killing a black snake once upon a time.  

Great image.  I can definitely relate.  

Calliope might publish it.  : )

Dewell H. Byrd

Posts : 371
Join date : 2012-01-05
Age : 87
Location : Central Point, OR

I PRAY FOR THE SOUL...

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Jun 30, 2018 4:38 pm

Karen,
Very, very short indeed.
And clever, too.

I like short words in any short poem... so, beautiful and attention 
detract a little from the poem for me...
I have no alternate words to offer, sorry.

Have you considered publishing a short chapbook of brief poems?
Dewell

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