The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Inevitable Unions

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    WhitneyClark

    Posts : 1
    Join date : 2012-07-13
    Age : 31
    Location : Springfield, MO

    Inevitable Unions

    Post  WhitneyClark on Fri Jul 13, 2012 12:01 pm

    The union of love and loss are like stars in the sky
    forever bound to one another without any choice in the matter
    hopelessly permanent.

    a terrible mystery
    keeping us asking,
    why this tragedy?

    love, something timelessly valued
    once seared by loss
    becomes a tragedy quickly sought to be forgotten

    loss, something so ordinary it's come to be expected
    once pushed into the realm of love
    becomes a nightmare quickly sought to be forgotten

    Except you can't wake up
    love and loss are your new reality
    they make their new home in your heart

    The pain of their union rests on the brink of unbearable for the human mind
    threatening simple sanity
    simple abilities once performed with ease

    Their very union is a mystery,
    dumfounding men and women for centuries

    Hating seeing them together,
    yet being unable to pull them apart

    like two halves of a circle,
    they are bound to meet eventually

    together they create an endless sea of souls:

    wishing
    remembering
    longing

    for what should have been,
    but can never be.
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    tsukany

    Posts : 592
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Welcome Whitney!

    Post  tsukany on Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:22 pm

    Hey Whitney...welcome to the group. I look forward to the feedback on your poem.

    I might render off a bit of redundancy, for example:

    The union of love and loss are forever bound
    without any choice
    hopelessly permanent.

    (I cut the stars...though I like the sound...since stars aren't actually joined)

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