I like the sounds in this poem. Is the content clear?

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I like the sounds in this poem. Is the content clear?

Post  tsukany on Fri Jul 27, 2012 8:00 am

Positioning

If I were a snakebird
I would stretch my wings

to dry, for all to see, for me
to soak-in the heat of a Florida

July morning. My image
would grace this ‘glade

and break the gray weather-
won trunks, boasting their satisfied

‘cane survivals to the ecosystem
below the surface. Yet, I run to the relative
safety of this room to type.

--Sukany 26 July 2012
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Positioning by Todd

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:11 am

I enjoy reading this poem aloud. Elsa likes it too. However, the last line of S 4 and first two lines of S 5 leave us confused as to meaning. Todd, is it weather won or weather worn?

Is your typing Pat's gravy? Dewell

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I like the sounds too. . .

Post  Pat on Sat Jul 28, 2012 1:38 pm

alliterative and assonance . Nice. So is the imagery.

I have trouble getting the last lines too. I understand first 3 stanzas. I can picture that. But when you get to weather-won trunks, I start my guessing. Is it the trunks of the cane? that boast? Ecosystem below water or ground is working on / referring to cane?

Sounds like you don't stay with the joy of it; instead, you turn to type your poem? Is that right?

Todd, what if you clarify those last 4 lines and add another stanza? Yet, I hurry and reposition myself/ in the relative safety. . . and type. . . .

I've seen buzzards stretch wings after a downpour to dry their wings: amazing! memorable. . . Pat

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Re: I like the sounds in this poem. Is the content clear?

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