The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Where I am now with the musician poem. . . . Enough rest! The Sabbath is over. . . back to work!

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    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Where I am now with the musician poem. . . . Enough rest! The Sabbath is over. . . back to work!

    Post  Pat on Mon Dec 31, 2012 8:28 am

    Where Musicians Lead



    One Sunday morning

    three men pick and strum

    curved guitars under glowing lights.

    Another draws a bow

    over submissive strings.

    A fifth holds his harmonica to lips,

    closes eyes and blows angelic sounds.

    The woman at the piano reads no music,

    but her fingers skip and play

    grace notes.



    Musicians, like shepherds, lead;

    worshippers follow,

    inhaling and bursting forth

    in a song of praise,

    lifting words of old

    to the newborn king.



    After the service,

    the unhurried musicians

    let the music run,

    urging echoes to linger

    around a babe in a manger

    whose song is never done.



    Pat Durmon, 2012

    dennis20
    Guest

    where I am Now

    Post  dennis20 on Mon Dec 31, 2012 9:02 am

    Pat,  Looks good.  I would suggest this for a little ear candy. "A fifth holds harmonica to lips, his eyes close, he blows angelic sounds"  However, that may add more than you want.

    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Thanks, Dennis. . . .

    Post  Pat on Mon Dec 31, 2012 2:20 pm

    noted and changed. . . I'm always trying to see the HIS and HER thing. . . .and sometimes I must use them, but I missed this one completely. Thank you. . . . good help. And I changed babe in a manger to manger-babe. Forest/trees. : )

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    Re: Where I am now with the musician poem. . . . Enough rest! The Sabbath is over. . . back to work!

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