The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Happy New Year! Is there enough information in this to make you care at all?

    Share
    avatar
    tsukany

    Posts : 592
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Happy New Year! Is there enough information in this to make you care at all?

    Post  tsukany on Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:34 pm

    To That Select Group Who Will Never Read This

    Your Mardi Gras t-shirts mass in dive bars
    where grown men gather to hurt themselves
    in a mosh pit and surf six feet above
    concrete floors. You drink gallons of cheap beer
    from cans then post, to YouTube, original guitar
    riffs that remind your other six-six-six friends
    of other 666 riffs. You have one adjective,
    M* F*,
    though you breeze through its other grammatical
    forms. Your amp is a coaster for beer and
    your flat screen. That amp fronts the living
    room wall where guitars also hang
    by their necks.

    --Sukany 18 Jan 2013

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 356
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    Todd's Poem about whatever

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:08 pm

    Todd,

    I think it is hilourous! With SUPER BOWL coming up it is timely... viewing parties at your local bar are being planned even now. Of course I could have missed the poem's meaning but it struck that chord with me. There is a strange comma early on that maybe should be penalized 15 yards for too-many-players on the field.

    Fun stuff. Dewell

    Pat

    Posts : 630
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    I hope I understand this:

    Post  Pat on Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:16 pm

    I ain't touching one line. . . . not with a 10 foot pole. I know this is not my area of expertise. I think this is a MAN poem.

    So, what I image is a wild party jiving: beer, dancing, music, guys, guys, guys.

    It sounds like a place I would not be comfortable. Language, 666 has an evil connotation for me, amps (noise to me). . . and I think you are right: the rough and tumble party guys won't read this poem.

    Am I following your descriptors? Or am I just thinking dirty? Pat

    Pat

    Posts : 630
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Also,

    Post  Pat on Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:18 pm

    this is mind-blowing to me; but hey, that's what they are doing in the poem too! Pat

    dennis20
    Guest

    to that select

    Post  dennis20 on Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:07 pm

    I can see the images and even smell the stale ashtrays but since you are addressing this to the select group who will never read this what is the signficance of the last sentence?  It jerks me from the 'dive bar' to a living room. That gives me a sense of home and morality that is lacking in the bar scene. I'm at a loss. Are you comparing two places or are you are saying home becomes like the 'dive bar' at crazy times of sportsmania?  As I keep reading over this it seems maybe you are saying the same equipment that hangs in the living room is used to play in the squalor of evil.  Enlighten us Todd. Are we grasping at the wrong straws?
    avatar
    tsukany

    Posts : 592
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    The Image

    Post  tsukany on Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:39 am


    Sponsored content

    Re: Happy New Year! Is there enough information in this to make you care at all?

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Jun 22, 2018 9:19 pm