The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    Tis the season for short offerings. :)

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    tsukany

    Posts : 597
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Tis the season for short offerings. :)

    Post  tsukany on Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:35 pm

    This is just an image poem that I hope presses a bit outside of the frame.





    SOLITARY BIRD


    sits on the fence post
    barely visible to me
    ‘cuz of the snow storm.

    She must wonder if
    it’s worth the flight
    after the lie of instinct.

    ---Sukany 21 March 2013

    Pat

    Posts : 635
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    SOLITARY BIRD poem response. . .

    Post  Pat on Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:32 am

    I like it. I hear your voice so clearly. I can see the snow-covered bird. 2nd stanza: Oh, to question the instinct. . . . hmmm. To go with the gut instinct and then get caught in the snow storm. Sad. Nature. Reality. Yep, it moves outside the frame.

    I like the all-caps in the title for the small poem. And the "must wonder". . . . Good way to say it. Pat

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 360
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    SOLITARY BIRD

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:56 pm

    I like BIRD/BYRD poems. And I agree with Pat on all of her comments. Todd, I enjoy your economy of words here and in PROMISE (Spare-Mule). This poem is complete, yet I wanted a third stanza marrying solitary and instinct... is that worth pursueing? Would this poem be more "solitary" if not personafied? ... it instead of she? Short poems often speak volumes, don't they. Dewell

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    Re: Tis the season for short offerings. :)

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