I'm thinking that two items in this poem may need to be deleted: sailing away together and wash and hang his clothes. Given the apparent age of the persona going for a drive or soda might be better... And anything else that grabs your eye... All help appreciated. Couple of publishers have shown interest like maybe I'm on to something with this poem. Your thoughts? Dewell
AT THE CLOTHES LINE
Sheets and table cloths on the outside,
pants and shirts on the other side,
undies on the middle line
so folks can't see.... Mama always says.
Oh, there's that new neighbor boy
washing the family car. Wonder if
he sees me. I'll drop a clothes pin
or two so I can get a better look.
He is watching me... must be...
He's washed the same side three times.
Wind's billowing sheets like a spinnaker,
me and him sailing away together.
He's whistling the same hymn I'm humming:
"Wherever thou leadeth I will follow."
I could wash and hang his clothes.
Oops, dropped another pin.
Mama says I'm too flirty; trouble ahead.
But she doesn't remember what its like
having an older boy looking at you
like that and wanting him to talk to you.
If only boys could talk...
Just wait until next year when I turn
15, bet all the boys will be looking
and maybe talking...
Dewell H. Byrd
AT THE CLOTHES LINE
Sheets and table cloths on the outside,
pants and shirts on the other side,
undies on the middle line
so folks can't see.... Mama always says.
Oh, there's that new neighbor boy
washing the family car. Wonder if
he sees me. I'll drop a clothes pin
or two so I can get a better look.
He is watching me... must be...
He's washed the same side three times.
Wind's billowing sheets like a spinnaker,
me and him sailing away together.
He's whistling the same hymn I'm humming:
"Wherever thou leadeth I will follow."
I could wash and hang his clothes.
Oops, dropped another pin.
Mama says I'm too flirty; trouble ahead.
But she doesn't remember what its like
having an older boy looking at you
like that and wanting him to talk to you.
If only boys could talk...
Just wait until next year when I turn
15, bet all the boys will be looking
and maybe talking...
Dewell H. Byrd