Just a journey away

I am Broken

      I am broken.  
   Nature does not call to me 
as some deity to be served.  
I do not expect a field 
   to hear my cry 
      nor a mountain 
to receive my praise.  
     The yellow rose, 
coiled happiness and smiles, 
     shares beauty from atop 
its stem.  All these together 
    can take my breath 
        but not keep it.

--T.A. Sukany 18 Mar 2019

Such a beautiful poem. It reads pretty. But I'll admit, I don't understand how "I am broken" fits with the poem. I can read from Line 2 on, and it makes sense without Line 1. My confusion might just be me not getting it.

I like the title.  Because I hear the title, I don't need line 1, but the personna may need to say it again. 
Hey, when we are broken, we don't see nature.  That's how I took it.
I can pass nature by when broken and NOT take a photo.  I am preoccupied with pain.
And we all get broken.  Expectations go low. Nature has no hold on the persona.
He may glimpse and go "yeah", but on he must go.

I like the playful format of the poem.
13 lines.... appropriate.

I don't see any changes I'd make.  Easy to follow. Thank you!

Poets

I want the first line to ring the bell of irony.  I am responding to a number of poets who  "deify" nature.  Since I DON'T, I must be broken.  

I need to apply what I've learned at Lucidity . . . QUICKLY!!!

Todd

Think like an 8th grader.  They do this all the time. 

Everything is exaggerated and Hardness is needed. 

I'd say "I must be broken"
because I hear no mountain, no tree, etc. calling me to fall down and worship...

No call to the field to believe it can .....

etc. 

"Oh sure, I'll do anything this field tells me to do...
obey his 10 commandments.  What are they?"
"Beautiful weather, isn't it?  Guess the forsythia bush is responsible for that."

Be harsh.  be cutting.  Be  mean. 

Stand in front of a horse that kicked your dog and say, "What a fine god you turned out to be!"

Harsh.

River. Beautiful, but it does not get my vote or my soul.
Think I'll stick to Jehovah God where the Mystery is bigger
and the call is constant.

Rambling, but maybe I hear you?