Wondering what happened.... I put something here today. I see it is no longer here?

I'll try again.  I probably did something crazy.  : )  Oh well. . . I had 3 line stanzas, except for last line, but can't get the extra lines out.  Sending....


If…
                    —for Doug Huskey

If you watched him
stand up and walk to the pulpit today,
you’d never know.

If you lingered and listened to him sing
“The Anchor Holds” like a lullaby,
you’d never know.

If you sat with rapt attention
while he waved about reaching out,
you’d never know

that a few years back,
he fell off a roof,
cracking his world open.

A few years back,
he lay in bed with long suffering.
Light, constantly shifted about him.

A few years back,
a symphony of prayers,
visible love and invisible sentinels.

If you’d been in the service today
to taste the Easter message,
you’d never know

this secondary miracle.

What a wonderful story! I loved how you lead up to the last line and how you used repeated lines. Very nicely done.

The only criticism/feedback I'd give was that the beginning felt a little slow for me.  I was wondering what I didn't know longer than I wanted to. I felt like stanza 2 and 3 were basically the same thing. Maybe you could combine the two somehow? I think I wanted the poem to focus on the fact that he can now walk and move. That's the miracle, not necessarily that he was singing (unless that was part of the injury too somehow, like from stroke or something.) Hope that made sense.

Loved the poem. Thanks for sharing what a wonderful story.

Pat

I enjoyed the music and alliteration of this poem.  You have a couple lines that pay:  Cracking his world . . . taste the Easter

I wonder who will publish this first?  Maybe send it to Ancient Paths (on facebook)

Toddd