they would have you believe

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they would have you believe

Post  Guest on Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:11 am

they would have you believe



the confession

bears the marks

of a forced entry



the locked door

opened by the virtue

of its broken hinges


Last edited by Cindy on Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:24 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : typos)

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they would have you believe

Post  tsukany on Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:35 am

they would have you believe



the confession

bears the marks

of a forced entry



the locked door

opened by the virtue

of its broken hinges


Nice comparison of hinges and confessions
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tsukany

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Re: they would have you believe

Post  Velvet F on Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:04 pm

they would have you believe



the confession

bears the marks

of a forced entry



the locked door

opened by the virtue

of its broken hinges



This is powerful for just 6 lines. You say so much in the short poem. Think about deleting "the" in 2nd line and "a" in 3rd line. I think that would give it more punch.

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Re: they would have you believe

Post  Guest on Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:28 pm

Thanks for your suggestions, Velvet. I was trying to balance the sounds between stanzas and the line lengths. I wanted the poem to be shaped like a door. I'm not sure that works but that was one of the things I was trying to do.

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