Dewell, I hear what you are saying about tires and litter, and I tried it, but it became cumbersome. Thanks for the ideas though. Here,
I tried what both of you suggested on the title. . . . is this better???? I used sideways on purpose in both stanzas. Good idea or not? I had "out and up" but. . . . Or do I just need to go to jail?
Grackles, Resting
as a caravan of
slow-flapping, chattering,
snattering squatters
screaming and taking a living
wherever they can.
A strong stench permeates
the rest stop—
dots of white poop
everywhere
slung sideways in the air
by those parading about
in shiny black frocks.
Grackles resting
watch people holding noses,
hurrying back to parking lots,
thundering off like noisy bands
to join long, long lines
on an interstate where
thousands drive east
toward Shreveport.
One behind the other,
they expel exhaust—
rankness
blowing sideways
by those staring ahead
enclosed inside shiny
colorful cars.
I tried what both of you suggested on the title. . . . is this better???? I used sideways on purpose in both stanzas. Good idea or not? I had "out and up" but. . . . Or do I just need to go to jail?
Grackles, Resting
as a caravan of
slow-flapping, chattering,
snattering squatters
screaming and taking a living
wherever they can.
A strong stench permeates
the rest stop—
dots of white poop
everywhere
slung sideways in the air
by those parading about
in shiny black frocks.
Grackles resting
watch people holding noses,
hurrying back to parking lots,
thundering off like noisy bands
to join long, long lines
on an interstate where
thousands drive east
toward Shreveport.
One behind the other,
they expel exhaust—
rankness
blowing sideways
by those staring ahead
enclosed inside shiny
colorful cars.