The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


    DISMEMBER ME ALWAYS

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    Karen

    Posts : 310
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 65
    Location : North Little Rock

    DISMEMBER ME ALWAYS

    Post  Karen on Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:47 am

    I got to hug Pat and Dennis at the Poets Roundtable of Arkansas fall Poetry Day in Hot Springs yesterday, AND hear Dewell's name called in the Roll of Honor.

    I'm Halloweenish this month.  Apologies in advance.

    DISMEMBER ME ALWAYS

    I am trying
    to get myself
    together again.
    I am so scattered.

    I can’t hold on
    to anything
    after our breakup.
    You left me disarmed.

    You cut me down.
    And up.
    You learned that from me.
    You showed no restraint,
    despite the order.

    If I can find
    both my ears,
    I’ll listen next time.
    I promise you that.

    I never tried
    to change your mind,
    or even your heart.
    Just some other parts.

    The man you are
    is not the man
    you could have become,
    given willing hands.

    I know you think
    I haven’t got
    a leg to stand on,
    but I’m determined.

    I will be back.
    I vow I will.
    Just help me, darling,
    pick up the pieces.

    Pat

    Posts : 671
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    I admit Halloween is not my holiday. . .

    Post  Pat on Fri Oct 28, 2016 9:20 pm

    My children still love it.  Not me.  I am lost on this poem, so I will be interested in what others say.   Karen, it sounds like more than a pumpkin was cut up and now the pieces are talking?  See, it is beyond me.  Break up, cut down, cut up.  Boyfriend cut her up??  For poetics,  I would say, And cut me up (S 3, line 2).  Horror poem??  Sorry. . . . hope someone else can be more helpful than I am.  I can tell you are having fun with Halloween.  : )
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    tsukany

    Posts : 619
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Fun title

    Post  tsukany on Sat Oct 29, 2016 7:57 am

    Karen,

    I thought the play on words in the title set a tone or sarcasm.  I got distracted by the shift to second person.  I lobby to keep the poem in first person.  Then at the end bring the you into focus:  ...you learned that from me.

    You might be sure that dismemberment exists in each stanza.

    I think this is a fun poem about relationships but most bodies don't recover from dismembering.

    Todd
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    Karen

    Posts : 310
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 65
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: DISMEMBER ME ALWAYS

    Post  Karen on Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:10 am

    Pat, this is a seasonal poem, inspired by the unwatchable (by me, anyway) slasher movies that are often revived at Halloween.  Please picture my tongue firmly in cheek.  It's meant to be fun in an over-the-top way, not unlike the comedy Death Becomes Her

    Todd, I like your suggestion of tidying up the person.  So to speak.

    Humor is such an individual thing.  I read this poem to a very elderly lady when I was writing poetry on demand at the Argenta art walk last Friday, and we got to tittering to the point we disrupted the library.  Of course the next person wanted to hear what all the commotion was about.  Reaction: puzzlement.

    Pat

    Posts : 671
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    My puzzlement

    Post  Pat on Sat Oct 29, 2016 12:00 pm

    may have been when the pieces started talking.  Sarcasm.  Yes.  I like the play on words with Remember/ Dismember Me Always.  I thought about how the tongue cuts, breaks, hurts. . . . I also vote for 1st person all the way.  I was disturbed by "I will be back,"  but I guess that happens at Halloween.  Thanks for helping my poor literal mind.  When there is sarcasm, I am always shocked, then I see what has happened and learned to like it.   Thomas Lux is a master of sarcasm in  poetry.
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    renee.barger

    Posts : 38
    Join date : 2016-09-17

    Not much else to say

    Post  renee.barger on Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:41 am

    I struggled more with this poem like Pat did, perhaps because I'm not a Halloween fan. I don't have much to add. I agree I like the title's play on words. I liked the line "And up." It made me stop and pause on those two lines. I also liked, "Just some other parts." It made me laugh (I hope it was supposed to!).

    Dewell H. Byrd

    Posts : 374
    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    DISMEMBER ME

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:44 pm

    Its got to be Halloween!
    How else could one do such a dastardly thing?
    We were not permitted to see horror movies  so maybe I missed some growing up.
    I see this as a fun poem which required me to quickly shift from expecting "poetics" to the seasonal nonsense.

    Got to go!  Kids are at the door.  Dewell

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