The Distance Between Us

The Distance Between Us  is a different style for me... title flowing into poem... I like it.
I'm toying with dropping the "nature" references and sticking with the bedroom or marrying the two.... what do you think?  Did I overdo the wind?  Maybe stanza #2 should become stanza #1?Not a bad poem for an 86 year old Gent...
(39 at last!)... Dewell

The Distance Between Us

is less than a whisper
when dawn excuses night,
morning glory finds its destiny
and a willow wind quilts the pond
whimpering to begin today's concert.

You stretch, yawn, tug linens
up under your chin as if this day
may begin especially for you.
The fault line of a sweet
smile ripples across your mouth.

You arch your arm over me,
gentle as a rainbow, reach
for the snooze button.

     -Dewell H. Byrd

Dewell

It seems like the punctuation in stanza one is confusing.  I read a period at the end of line one.  I need a "music/concert" word in stanza two to continue the conceit.  I believe I would cut "read" from stanza three.

I like the arrangement of stanzas as they are.

Well done, again, as usual, O gifted one.

Todd

Dewell, Beautiful pictures!!  I love the line, "when dawn excuses night."  Such a beautiful nature picture and you lead us into the second stanza with "wind quilts the pond."  I like the ending with arching... rainbow. And the gotcha at the end with snooze alarm.  Well done.  Me thinks you had too many concerns and treaded softly on your confidence.  

Dennis

I loved this poem as well, especially the line, "when dawn excuses night!" I don't have any specific suggestions, but I did agree with Sukany that some punctuation may need reconsidered.

I esp like the last stanza.  I'd like a musical term in each stanza throughout the poem.  Rainbow is fantastic.  Great imagery. 
Maybe reach could becoming reaching? 
Nice job for any age man!