ALMOST.....

I am conflicted poem.  Don't know whatat tth

 DARN!!!  SITEWONT ' LET ME WORK IN IT!!!
D.

       ALMOST

 

I smile when I think of you

       So close

       Almost

So very, very  close

 

I sigh when I remember

       Almost

       That close

Desire sweeps my dreams

 

You reach for my hand

        Standing

        So near

And I catch my breath

 

I hunger for your love

         Looking

         Longing

Searching, sharing, sighing

 

Rings bind us apart

         So close

         Almost

Echoes in my heart

Dewell

I was expecting ALMOST to appear in each stanza.  I am sure you intentionally did NOT do that.  Why?

I like the play that ALMOST does in each stanza.  Because it can modify forward and backward, its meaning shifts.  I like that in a poem.

"Rings that bind us apart"  WOW!  that is a killer clincher line for me.  Love it and envy that.


ALMOST

I smile when I think of you
       So close
       Almost
So very, very  close

I sigh when I remember
       Almost
       That close
Desire sweeps my dreams

You reach for my hand
        Standing
        So near
And I catch my breath

I hunger for your love
         Looking
         Longing
Searching, sharing, sighing

Rings bind us apart
         So close
         Almost
Echoes in my heart

Dewell,  Wow!  This poem has a powerful "ring" to it.  Years make these sorts of feelings possible. I think the last line seals it.  This poem also has symmetry which makes it appealing.  Good job.

I may still be under the influence of Todd's brevity, but try this cut.

ALMOST

 

 I smile when I think of you

        So close

        Almost

 So very, very  close

  

I sigh when I remember

        Almost

        That close

 Desire sweeps my dreams

  

Rings bind us apart

          So close

          Almost

 Echoes in my heart

And yes, rings bind us apart is the phrase that pays.

Well flitter.  I should have previewed.  My original post shows up dark font on dark background on my screen.

Take 2:

I may still be under the influence of Todd's brevity, but try this cut.

     ALMOST

I smile when I think of you
     So close
     Almost
So very, very close

I sigh when I remember
     Almost
     That close
Desire sweeps my dreams

Rings bind us apart
      So close
      Almost
Echoes in my heart

And yes, rings bind us apart is the phrase that pays.

Dewell, I'm sorry you are struggling with your computer.  Hand in there.

Here what I have for you:  I vote for putting almost in each stanza because that's what's on your mind.  But because of that, I would look for a new title.  

4th Stanza:  telling and not needed.

My fav:  rings binding us apart line.   Those opposites, powerful.

Great!