The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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unseasonal

Karen
Karen
Karen


Posts : 320
Join date : 2014-10-25
Age : 70
Location : North Little Rock
  • Post n°1

unseasonal Empty unseasonal

Post  Karen Wed Aug 01, 2018 11:08 am

Todd, all is forgiven.  Thank you for all you do for us.  Thank you, Poets, for your continuing care.  You make me more than I might be.

this is where

the green of winter
   celebrates quiet
   
moss and fern

in this barren season
green is heard
              heard distinctly
its voice clear
above the pale whisper
of grey and ghostlight

green comforts dawn
          welcomes dusk
          reminds the day

summer is not all
not gaudy all
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tsukany
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21
  • Post n°2

unseasonal Empty I like it!

Post  tsukany Wed Aug 01, 2018 12:11 pm

Karen

I like it.  The first three lines are captivating.  The second stanza has too much redundancy for my ear . . .  heard distinctly clear.

Well done and thanks for the cool breeze of winter

Todd
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Pat
avatar
Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12
  • Post n°3

unseasonal Empty Re: unseasonal

Post  Pat Fri Aug 03, 2018 7:04 am

Delightful.  I played with your lines, removing and changing.  : )  Take what you like, throw the rest into the air and make confetti.   Sweet thoughts and good words.  


this is where

the green of winter
   celebrates quiet
   
moss and fern

the barren's voice
                   heard
above the pale whisper
of ghostlight

green comforts dawn
          welcomes dusk
          reminds day

summer is not
the only play in town
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  • Post n°4

unseasonal Empty Re: unseasonal

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