Talking to God

TALKING TO GOD 

the shock is all mine

coronavirus     no surprise
to You

homemade masks     needed

no touchdowns 
lots of shut-downs     &    lock-downs

march     winding down

we dream of
hugs     sunshine     gentleness

iris knives point skyward

we stay home
and move like ancient grandmothers

some kind of silent bird     sits in a tree

news speaks of hard hearts
in a bent     dark world

facts stand silent like soldiers

but     there’s this thing
with feathers

Pat

I love this imagery.

Do you need stanza 1 and the last three?  Can you end with the image of a silent bird that may or may not be gramdma?

Thanks for the smile

TS

I really liked the poem with how relevant it is right now! It really reflects what so many of us are experiencing. 

It might be just me, but I didn't understand the spacing in the stanzas. However, I like the airiness and distance of the words. It makes me think of the social distancing. Was that what you were going for? I guess I didn't get when something was spaced out and when others weren't. 

The last stanza threw me off. When I read it, I thought I must have missed something in the rest of the poem. 

I liked the ancient grandmothers. I liked the image of birds not singing, showing a sad, quiet time. I think stanza 4 is my favorite with "touchdowns, shutdowns, and lockdowns." 

I was also a little thrown off by the soldier. Maybe it's just me though. I was trying to think if there was a current event if I missed or overlooked. 

I think I wanted a stronger word than "needed" in stanza 3, but after I reread it and thought about it, I think it works. 

Not sure if any of that was helpful.  Thanks for sharing it. I enjoyed reading it.

to the nth degree to see how I liked it.  I like it better.  No need for soldier and it complicates rather than keeping it simple. 
Spacing.  I used spacing instead of punctuation.
No caps either.
So I used all caps for title.  
I wanted it to be easy to read, but I thought I'd try no punctuation, sooooo I had to do something to help you read it the way I wanted it read:  thus, spacing. I've seen that done numerous times and my Mountain Home group talks about it from time to time.  
Hope that helps.
Also, I changed "lots of" to "loads of" for the internal rhyme with previous line.
Thanks for the feedback.  Helpful.
Pat

Ah! I get the spacing now. I can't believe I missed that. Thanks for explaining it to me.

experience is that we are all teachers, all students.  That way, we help each other to learn. Not that we always agree, but the poem belongs to the poet.  He/She can either listen to critique or do it his/her own way.  We are not all that invested.  The poet usually is invested and won't give up a few things that are important to him/her. Understandable.

Beautiful day.  Stay safe and enjoy.