The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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too much given away?

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

too much given away? Empty too much given away?

Post  tsukany Wed May 27, 2020 4:46 pm

Reading the Same Headlines Later in My Life
Proverbs 27:22

While grinding the grain,
I watched a bird swoop past.
It was a sortie, a dive bomber
releasing the hoard of fury. 

I kept grinding and grinding,
using the moisture
as an emulsifier for ease
in action.  No one should notice

the tiny scud missiles
finely brayed into the meal.

--T.A. Sukany 27 May 2020
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

too much given away? Empty No, too much is not given away...not for me.

Post  Pat Thu May 28, 2020 11:41 am

I needed all of it.  Especially, the bible verse.  Of course, I went to Proverbs to read it.
I loved the grinding with the dive bomber, fury, No one should notice, missiles and braying.   Braying like a donkey.... sort of goes with fool.  Smile 

So the personna is the one pounding and grinding, trying to get the foolishness out of the fool.  Smile  

I like that we keep relearning the lesson:  keep on grinding and grinding.  The title is why I say that. It just makes all of us human, trying to control something/someone we can't.  That's my take on it. 

I also like the format: simple and easy on the reader.  
Nice work.
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

too much given away? Empty Re: too much given away?

Post  renee.barger Wed Jun 17, 2020 10:07 am

Sorry I'm so late to the party.
I really liked this poem. It expanded my vocabulary, and I think there's several layers of truth in the poem. I'm pondering (in a good way) what the scud missiles are and how they're mixed into the meal.
My mind is going to the current headlines about racism and police brutality. Where you old enough to remember the 60s and the civil rights movement?

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