The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Does this take you anywhere?

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Does this take you anywhere? Empty Does this take you anywhere?

Post  tsukany Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:07 pm

Broad View
“. . . I see men like trees” -- Mark 8:24 KJV

I walked into a tree.  
Stopped it right away . . .
with my nose and glasses.  

Still not sure how it managed 
to grow itself in the center of my way.  
It must have masked itself 

and now I stand, 
a bit farther back, bark 
sporting flakes of my skin.

--T.A. Sukany 27 Jul 2020
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

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Post  renee.barger Wed Jul 29, 2020 9:10 am

I love it!!! The first stanza made me laugh out loud, (I've run into literal trees.) and I continued to chuckle through the rest.

With the Bible verse at the top, I knew I needed to read the trees as a person too. In my head, I heard the voice of a person set in their ways and annoyed that someone is in their way. But the abrupt run-in should hopefully wake us up to God's calling on our lives to lead and share others with him. (Which also is the message of the book I'm reading called Sent by Heather and Ashley Holleman. I'm on a launch team and having a blast! )

I gotta say, I love your spiritual poems. Maybe because the Bible references always give me a clue into how to interpret them, but you also have a great way of showing our human nature too.

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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Does this take you anywhere? Empty Smiling at this one.

Post  Pat Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:11 pm

This is what I'm walking away with.
Persona got a broader view by walking into a tree.  Sometimes we have to take lumps and bruises to see the broader view.  Usually we have a narrow view.  It takes something to bang us up to see the bigger picture. (I love that Jesus used humble mud in the Bible story.)
In epigraph, Jesus helped the blind man see 20/20.  Here a sturdy tree helps personna see broader view.
S 1:  funny...just can't see the tree...walks into it. (Been there on different levels.)
S 2:  it must have hidden itself... yes, that's how we think:  "not my fault" It grew in my path.
S 3:  must step back to get the broader view.  (Lord, help me to do this.) Tree's fine.  It "sports" flakes of personna's skin. Always a cost for eyes if we don't ask for them. 
Fun poem. 
Now, I'll read what Renee wrote and see how "off" I am.  
Oh, I like that you broke it into 3 stanzas.

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renee.barger
renee.barger


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Join date : 2016-09-17

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Post  renee.barger Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:57 pm

Pat, I really like what you wrote! I'm kinda curious now what Todd was chiefly trying to communicate. I feel like I was off.
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Does this take you anywhere? Empty I think It really does not matter if we are "off" or "on target". I think

Post  Pat Fri Aug 07, 2020 9:20 am

what matters is that the poet hears back from others the different directions the readers take his/her words.

We readers just hang out with someone else's words.  We get to make them whatever we wish. The beauty of critique, in my penny opinion, is that the poet gets to hear back where a reader took the words in his mind and experience. 

All critiques count and carry weight.  Then the poet can decide what to do with it.   Isn't that wonderful?  It belongs to him. i love how that works.

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