The Last Friday

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


3 posters
  • Post new topic
  • Reply to topic

looking forward to your help

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

looking forward to your help Empty looking forward to your help

Post  tsukany Wed Aug 26, 2020 10:44 am

Free Range

The bear exhibit sits at the center of the zoo.  
People from all walks of life march the narrow 
paths.  Some remark that the American Black Bear 
needs more press.  Most promote the Brown Bear, 
even if it has Russian roots.  The Polar Bear display
is left in the cold.  No one remarks 
that the walls and cages are removed and defunded.

--T.A. Sukany 08 June 2020
avatar
Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

looking forward to your help Empty Free Range....

Post  Pat Sun Aug 30, 2020 5:06 pm

Whaaaat?  The last line got me.
Did they take the bears back to nature?  because they got defunded? Now they free range. Where?
Would the black bear fight with the brown bear (from Russia, once upon a time) and polar bear?  
They took the cages away because of defunding.  I got that. Soooo, where are the bears?
Love the line about the polar bears.  Guess they went back to Canada or Alaska?  
Gosh, they all need more press. Narrow path.  Smile  Good one.  
No talk of defunding. Gosh.
The exhibit sits in the middle of the zoo.  Are the bears there?  Or gone.  Sad.  
This makes my brain churn.  
Clear observations.  Nice work.

renee.barger likes this post

renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

looking forward to your help Empty Re: looking forward to your help

Post  renee.barger Sat Sep 12, 2020 8:25 am

I like it, but I'm also confused. From the title, I think the bears are let loose in the zoo, and no one seems to notice that danger. Instead, they're focused on funding the bears.

I feel like there's more to this poem. Like a political statement or culture critique. Am I close?

Pat likes this post

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

looking forward to your help Empty Feedback

Post  tsukany Sat Sep 12, 2020 10:13 am

Renee and Pat

Renee you are spot on.  I am trying to understand a world in which defunding police will end well

Todd

renee.barger likes this post

avatar
Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

looking forward to your help Empty Renee, thank you!

Post  Pat Sat Sep 12, 2020 4:32 pm

I can see that now.  Good, critical eye, Renee.  

Right, that defunded line was a wham.  
I totally forgot "Breaker, breaker, 1-9"  I forgot the bears
were around the curve.

Makes sense to me now.  Thank you for helping us get it.

renee.barger likes this post

avatar
Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

looking forward to your help Empty And if "Breaker, Breaker, 1-9"

Post  Pat Mon Sep 14, 2020 4:46 pm

has nothing to do with the bears or police, don't tell me.  I am wallowing in this poem now.  I see that it's possible for the reader to take a poem a whole 'nother direction and enjoy it.  Smile   

Perhaps that's the risk when the poet publishes a poem.

Sponsored content


looking forward to your help Empty Re: looking forward to your help

Post  Sponsored content

  • Post new topic
  • Reply to topic

Current date/time is Tue May 07, 2024 2:07 am