Closure? I've changed it 5 times..

Can you follow the meaning?  


Cirrus Clouds
 
They move across mountains
like masses of cats,
a creeping
passed from one tabby to another.
Perhaps a pre-condition
to which they submit,
perhaps like those people
who flow,
even when facing
an untreatable disease.

Pat
The poem is symbol.  Clouds become cats that become people with terminal illness.

I get tripped every time I read sentence one.  I have added notes and stanza breaks below:

Cirrus Clouds

They move across mountains like masses(religious connotation?) of cats, 
a creeping, 
DNA passed from one tabby to another.  

Perhaps a pre-condition to which they submit,  (“to which” adds a “stuffy/formal” tone)
like those people who flow (“flow” needs to be a people/cat/cloud word), 
even when facing an untreatable(same connotation with “untreatable” cat/cloud/people) disease.

Excellent poem

Todd

I want you to hear those words with a Gomer sound.  I mean them.
cat words.  Yes.  Will do.  That'll be fun!  
Thank you.  

Renee, if you are out there, throw us a bone of a poem....   We need your poetry. 
If you've had some hard weeks, go to my blog. It's about my hard summer. I have more energy now, 
thank goodness. My blog: patdurmon.com.  
Pat

masses- I just liked the m word to go with moved/mountains.  I also liked mass and cat sounds. But now, I like the thought that it could be a holy gathering.

Cirrus Clouds
 
They move across mountains like masses of cats,
a creeping—
passed from one tabby to another.
Perhaps a pre-condition they must submit to
like hospital children who stretch, curl, uncurl,
somewhat aware of other low-slung bodies,
even when facing a shadowy disease.


Also, I'm curious about your poem. 

Pat

This is MUCH stronger.  So much more music with the alliteration.  Well done.

I will release more info on the bear poem after Renee has a chance to kill it. 

Thank you

Todd

I like the shape of it now.
Reminds me of cirrus clouds.

Sorry I've been MIA! We had some hard last couple of weeks with family crisis and then a neighbor... I won't go into details. I did open your blog into a browser. I'll go there next!

I was a little lost in the first version, but I followed the last one better. I really liked low-slung bodies because it brought me back to clouds.

I also really like the "curl and uncurl" since it makes me think of cats.
And shadowy disease again makes me think of clouds.

The only thing I'm not understanding (I think) is a creeping. Is the creeping passed on? I don't know if my question is making sense. I'm just getting stuck on those lines.

Also, I read your last two blog posts, Pat. They really encouraged and captivated me. I love your blog writing style. I subscribed! Thank you for sharing!