The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Working on a new one

tsukany
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21
  • Post n°1

Working on a new one Empty Working on a new one

Post  tsukany Thu Aug 26, 2021 4:11 pm

Milk or Cookies not Both

The young couple spread a blanket 
on the still-warm sand.  They opened 
a basket filled with their favorites: 
milk, honey, grapes, and chocolate.  

As the sun set into the South Pacific,
they embraced and held hands. 
“Bondi Beach at sunset” 
had been on the romantic list

their entire lives.  They entwined arms
to sip milk and dip snickerdoodles.  
Within moments, blue heelers, weapons 
drawn, handcuffed the unmasked lovers.

--Todd Sukany 24 Aug 2021
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Pat
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12
  • Post n°2

Working on a new one Empty I just received an education on Bondi Beach in Australia....

Post  Pat Fri Aug 27, 2021 11:07 am

I did not know about Bondi Beach or blue heelers as police. And they were handcuffed because...??? They were rule breakers:  cookies AND milk?  mask free?  FUN. I also tried reading it as blue heelers, the dogs, but the handcuffs did not work.  Smile Also, I love the sarcasm on how tough the rules are on Bondi Beach.  

Fun one, but I had to figure out about heelers.  Shows just how much I know about cop shows.

Loved the humor.

The poetics work for me.

Good job.  Thanks for the education....
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