The Last Friday

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


2 posters
  • Post new topic
  • Reply to topic

Will you help me?

tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

Will you help me? Empty Will you help me?

Post  tsukany Tue Dec 07, 2021 2:42 pm

For Goodness and Mercy

Yea, though I sit in a valley 
of ungraded essays, I will fear.  
No evil lives on toner-infused 

research papers, surely.  Lord,  
Thy red pen has covered 
more than my comma splice, 

run-ons, and dangling modifier–
all in the same Introduction.  
You have recorded attendance 

and passed me. You have prepared 
a table for me, for me.  To me, You 
have shown a cloud of witnesses, 

graduates who have gone before, 
who have finished the race, 
who have kept the faith, have muddied 

their boots on the path of righteousness, 
and are curled up 
near the fireplace with a favorite book.

–Todd Sukany 07 Dec 2021
avatar
Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Will you help me? Empty I'm hearing the music of a psalm... of course. Nice. Fun.

Post  Pat Tue Dec 07, 2021 4:08 pm

It's all understandable.  So I am hearing the music.

For Goodness and Mercy

Yea, though I sit in a valley 
of ungraded essays, I will fear.
No evil lives on toner-infused 

research papers, surely.  Lord,  
Thy red pen has covered 
more than my comma splice, 

run-ons, and dangling modifier–
all in the same Introduction.  
You have recorded attendance 

and passed me. You have prepared 
a table for me, for me.  To me, You  I like this line
have shown a cloud of witnesses, 

graduates who have gone before, 
who have finished the race, 
who have kept the faith, have muddied  I'd repeat "who" again:  who have muddied

their boots on the path of righteousness, 
and are curled up 
near the fireplace with a favorite book. Yes!


I'm thinking you will be reading this aloud.  Smile   Hope so.
avatar
Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

Will you help me? Empty I read it again.

Post  Pat Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:05 am

have shown a cloud of witnesses (maybe dash instead of comma???)

A lot of depth here.  

God bless, 
Pat

Sponsored content


Will you help me? Empty Re: Will you help me?

Post  Sponsored content

  • Post new topic
  • Reply to topic

Current date/time is Sun Apr 28, 2024 5:51 am