Trying to make it compact without losing my hotness...

To the Deer Eating My Tall Garden Phlox
 
In my headlights, I sometimes catch a glimpse 
of you crossing the yard as you head back 
toward the forest. Other times you ramble 
between our house and the one next door. 
That’s great with me. I don’t mind hoof prints 
being left behind. It’s like a kid dropping laundry 
on the floor before heading outdoors. In fact, 
you keep my world stunning and soft 
with your threads.
 
But this morning,
here in this house where I live,
I have fierce feelings against you.
 
My pricey deer-resistant plants
stand topless. One of you deer,
probably a buck, came off the mountain
and ranged into the valley for a drink.
As you moseyed along, you meandered
this way and beheaded my soon-to-bloom
garden phlox. Preposterous! That’d be like me
taking a bite from every popsickle in the bag.
 
Not a life or death issue, for sure,
and the river will still welcome you
with her long beautiful body, but I do wish
there was a way for me to put you
in your room for ten minutes!  

Pat

I like the journey (and the title) of the poem.  I get interrupted by the narrator entering commentary ("that's great with me").  I lobby you cut those (reconsider the insertion of another player "the river") and let the word selection "show" anger.  I really like the ending as it is.

Todd

(Your comments were helpful reminders. Thanks. I added a bit more about the river.)

To the Deer Eating My Tall Garden Phlox
 
In my headlights, I sometimes catch a glimpse
of you crossing the yard as you head back
from the open-handed river toward the dark forest.
Other times you ramble between our house
and the one next door, leaving hoof prints behind---
like a kid dropping laundry on the floor
before heading outdoors. You and the cold river
keep my world stunning and happy.
 
But this morning,
here in this house where I live,
I grit my teeth and think
tight-fisted thoughts against you.
 
My pricey deer-resistant plants
stand topless. One of you,
probably a buck, came off the mountain
and ranged into the valley to get a drink,
to wade water. As you moseyed along in the night,
you meandered this way and beheaded
my soon-to-bloom garden phlox.

Not a life or death issue, for sure,
and the river will still welcome you
with her long beautiful body, but I do wish
there was a way for me to put you
in time-out for ten minutes! 

Pat

I think adding the river detracts from the interaction of the N and the deer.  I would cut all references to the river. 

In S3, I would replace all the river with a setup for "timeout."  Who offers "timeout"?  teachers and students or parents and children.  I think that will set the ending nicely.  (I really like the "topless" and beheading" imagery)

Todd

Parenting is where I got the timeout idea.
I found myself wanting to give a consequence for bad behavior.    Actually, all I could do was write a poem about it.  I must accept it as it is, but I can still write a poem about it.  That helped.

Thank you for guiding me through...

I really like it! I liked the title and the idea of punishing the deer with a timeout. The deer ate my dad's strawberry plants, and it did look like a beheading! I liked how concise you got it too.