The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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Infirmities

tsukany
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21
  • Post n°1

Infirmities Empty Infirmities

Post  tsukany Fri Nov 24, 2023 8:11 am

Infirmities

No one has stepped up 
to claim ownership. Since 
there are more animals 
than couples that dwell here, 
the conclusion is clear.  

Just to the left of the sink 
I installed, a tiny crater.  
A lunar landing of sorts. 
Cracking the surface with 

one small step. What to do now?  
Dress it with a towel?  Powder it 
with facial product?  I hope 
to sow a flag.

–Todd Sukany 20 Nov 2023

renee.barger likes this post

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Pat
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12
  • Post n°2

Infirmities Empty Yes, it's a problem on multi- levels.

Post  Pat Tue Nov 28, 2023 7:26 pm

Right off, if you are not involved in it, it makes me smile.  I identify with no one stepping up to claim fault. 

Just to the left of the sink, so I'm thinking countertop. A lunar landing of sorts is good.  Big deal that cracked the surface.  A whack, a thud, wondering if Whacking the surface... (a sound word) 
Houseowner and problem-solver questions.  
Another option might be:  
...with facial product? I don't know.
Maybe I'll just sow a flag. 


Like the lunar landing! Yes. Claiming the spot with the flag!
I like it!


I like the poem. I wondered about the title.  I looked up the meaning of Infirmities and I'm not sure it fits. Your counter had a crash, damage, wham, wreckage, but is it an infirmity?  I think medical with infirmity---medical and aging. I don't think of an event or damage. 

Is infirmities a play on words?  You made it plural. Hmmm. 
Also, your problem solving is interesting:  Man stuff?  towel, facial product, flag? 

Todd, this lets you know how my mind works with your poem.  Maybe that's enough.  

Mankind is a mess, for sure.
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