WOMAN AS WINDOW SHADE
Lower your shade ("shade" is in the title. You can find a synonym for this first line)
Carefully.
Preserve your privacy. (Preserve could come from the vocabulary of "shades and draperies")
You must be safely shuttered,
Tucked away, secure, unseen.
Draw the shade (Stanza break might lessen the redundancy of the shade already being down in line one)
Carefully
To meet the sill,
Lest it flap and clatter,
Roll and snap and coil tightly overhead, (I am a fan of multiple "ands" thought the last one could start a new line)
Revealing everything. (fine/fitting ending!)
Lower your shade ("shade" is in the title. You can find a synonym for this first line)
Carefully.
Preserve your privacy. (Preserve could come from the vocabulary of "shades and draperies")
You must be safely shuttered,
Tucked away, secure, unseen.
Draw the shade (Stanza break might lessen the redundancy of the shade already being down in line one)
Carefully
To meet the sill,
Lest it flap and clatter,
Roll and snap and coil tightly overhead, (I am a fan of multiple "ands" thought the last one could start a new line)
Revealing everything. (fine/fitting ending!)