I like the ideas in this poem... images, too... but wonder if there are enough poetics to please the reader. And that stanza #4... should it fly away?? Open to all ideas. Dewell
FAMILY OUTING
A family of blackbirds is gleaning
My freshly mown lawn.
Mother and daughter in the near corner,
Head to head sharing each find,
Chatting about nutrition, new flight feathers,
The best nesting materials,
Danger, eye-to-the-sky alert,
The shadow of starlings in over flight.
Father and son in the far corner,
Back to back, competing for morsels.
Strutting about, singing, extoling
The virtue of their plumage.
Ignoring each other as if their feathers
were more attractive to females.
IF THIS WERE MY FAMILY...
The girls would be sharing ideas,
Chatting about school, cells, friends,
Fashions, dating, coming events;
Preening each other's hair and nails.
The guys, one foot on grass, one on
Concrete sidewalk, would be arguing
About keys, curfews, careers;
Making little speeches..... body politic.
Dewell H. Byrd
FAMILY OUTING
A family of blackbirds is gleaning
My freshly mown lawn.
Mother and daughter in the near corner,
Head to head sharing each find,
Chatting about nutrition, new flight feathers,
The best nesting materials,
Danger, eye-to-the-sky alert,
The shadow of starlings in over flight.
Father and son in the far corner,
Back to back, competing for morsels.
Strutting about, singing, extoling
The virtue of their plumage.
Ignoring each other as if their feathers
were more attractive to females.
IF THIS WERE MY FAMILY...
The girls would be sharing ideas,
Chatting about school, cells, friends,
Fashions, dating, coming events;
Preening each other's hair and nails.
The guys, one foot on grass, one on
Concrete sidewalk, would be arguing
About keys, curfews, careers;
Making little speeches..... body politic.
Dewell H. Byrd