A Generation apart

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A Generation apart

Post  dennis 2012 on Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:11 pm

Fellow poets,  This is a sonnet, but not an issue for you.  My question is have I drawn enough picture for you to see the distance between the two generations? If not, do I need to say something specific to make it more obvious?  If you can, do you think a young person of today reading this would grasp the depth of the generation gap? If I leave out stanzas 2 & 3 would that be a tighter picture making the contrast more obvious?

Listening to the Music
 
The music of our day was Rock and Roll.
A juke box after school was where we met.
Those songs are long entrenched deep in my soul
 
and often bring back scenes that will not let
those moments pass me by.  I see a rose
or some old car that draws me back.  I get
 
all warm inside.  I smile and then compose
myself before I wipe the hint of tears
that cloud my eyes.  I wonder who else knows.
 
But kids today have earbuds in their ears,
each one it seems is glued to his device.
So much has changed in not so many years.
 
We were a group and had a gang, so nice.
Technology has changed it all, the price.

dennis 2012
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Not sure

Post  tsukany on Sun Apr 30, 2017 7:38 am

Dennis

I think of this topic as well. 

What happens to me in the poem is apples and zebras. 

The first half is the emotional connection of the persona and the second is about technology. 

I guess earlier generations felt the same as we do today, nostalgic for the music on which they grew up.  Thirty years from now (or fewer), the ipod generation will write about their grandkids' generation. 

Todd
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Re: A Generation apart

Post  Karen on Mon May 01, 2017 6:47 pm

Dennis, I vote for a leaner poem.  That being said, I suppose you know my taste by now:  sparse, if not anorexic.

Todd's point about nostalgic is well-taken.  Would you consider speculating about whether earbuds might be just a different delivery system for today's generation?  Is today's gang communicating as much or more than we did, only by text and social media?

The face-to-face, mouth-to-ear communication of our generation feels right to me, too - but I'm hearing young performance poets use snatches of their generation's songs in their work.  Everyone is chiming in but me.

I suspect anthems are still being sung.

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Sonnet

Post  Pat on Tue May 02, 2017 10:31 am

You have one, Dennis.  Do not pitch it.  You'll find a contest for it.  It is understandable.  We all recognize this gap.  I don't much like it, but it is here and moving into something else.  I do like Karen's suggestion:  throw in a line of rock 'n roll and maybe a line of whatever is contemporary.  It felt like decoration when you added I wonder who else knows.  I'd stay with what you are saying.  Let yourself grieve it.  And the kids today do not have a group necessarily.  They have their earbuds.  Hope this helps a wee bit.  (Heard some great poetry this past weekend in Mississippi, including sonnets.)

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A Generation Apart

Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Wed May 03, 2017 5:31 pm

Dennis,
How about some song examples?
I, too, would prefer a skinner poem.
The form you are using is pleasing, just rather long
in the middle.
There are a few musicians who bridge that gap
and create an inter-generational communication
and nostalgia. 
From the reactions to your poem it seems you hit on a
hot topic.
Dewell

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