The Last Friday

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    A Generation apart

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    dennis 2012
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    A Generation apart

    Post  dennis 2012 on Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:11 pm

    Fellow poets,  This is a sonnet, but not an issue for you.  My question is have I drawn enough picture for you to see the distance between the two generations? If not, do I need to say something specific to make it more obvious?  If you can, do you think a young person of today reading this would grasp the depth of the generation gap? If I leave out stanzas 2 & 3 would that be a tighter picture making the contrast more obvious?

    Listening to the Music
     
    The music of our day was Rock and Roll.
    A juke box after school was where we met.
    Those songs are long entrenched deep in my soul
     
    and often bring back scenes that will not let
    those moments pass me by.  I see a rose
    or some old car that draws me back.  I get
     
    all warm inside.  I smile and then compose
    myself before I wipe the hint of tears
    that cloud my eyes.  I wonder who else knows.
     
    But kids today have earbuds in their ears,
    each one it seems is glued to his device.
    So much has changed in not so many years.
     
    We were a group and had a gang, so nice.
    Technology has changed it all, the price.
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    tsukany

    Posts : 605
    Join date : 2011-05-21

    Not sure

    Post  tsukany on Sun Apr 30, 2017 7:38 am

    Dennis

    I think of this topic as well. 

    What happens to me in the poem is apples and zebras. 

    The first half is the emotional connection of the persona and the second is about technology. 

    I guess earlier generations felt the same as we do today, nostalgic for the music on which they grew up.  Thirty years from now (or fewer), the ipod generation will write about their grandkids' generation. 

    Todd
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    Karen

    Posts : 299
    Join date : 2014-10-25
    Age : 64
    Location : North Little Rock

    Re: A Generation apart

    Post  Karen on Mon May 01, 2017 6:47 pm

    Dennis, I vote for a leaner poem.  That being said, I suppose you know my taste by now:  sparse, if not anorexic.

    Todd's point about nostalgic is well-taken.  Would you consider speculating about whether earbuds might be just a different delivery system for today's generation?  Is today's gang communicating as much or more than we did, only by text and social media?

    The face-to-face, mouth-to-ear communication of our generation feels right to me, too - but I'm hearing young performance poets use snatches of their generation's songs in their work.  Everyone is chiming in but me.

    I suspect anthems are still being sung.

    Pat

    Posts : 648
    Join date : 2011-09-12

    Sonnet

    Post  Pat on Tue May 02, 2017 10:31 am

    You have one, Dennis.  Do not pitch it.  You'll find a contest for it.  It is understandable.  We all recognize this gap.  I don't much like it, but it is here and moving into something else.  I do like Karen's suggestion:  throw in a line of rock 'n roll and maybe a line of whatever is contemporary.  It felt like decoration when you added I wonder who else knows.  I'd stay with what you are saying.  Let yourself grieve it.  And the kids today do not have a group necessarily.  They have their earbuds.  Hope this helps a wee bit.  (Heard some great poetry this past weekend in Mississippi, including sonnets.)

    Dewell H. Byrd

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    Join date : 2012-01-05
    Age : 87
    Location : Central Point, OR

    A Generation Apart

    Post  Dewell H. Byrd on Wed May 03, 2017 5:31 pm

    Dennis,
    How about some song examples?
    I, too, would prefer a skinner poem.
    The form you are using is pleasing, just rather long
    in the middle.
    There are a few musicians who bridge that gap
    and create an inter-generational communication
    and nostalgia. 
    From the reactions to your poem it seems you hit on a
    hot topic.
    Dewell

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