The Last Friday

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The Last Friday

The Last Friday is a poetry editing group. Once a month, we post a poem and then offer feedback to the other poems on the Forum. We're a friendly but honest group. We value each other deeply and desire for every poet to be published or become famous.


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I need a title

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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

I need a title Empty I need a title

Post  Pat Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:42 am

I thought this week had a Friday in it. Nope.  I'll respond to your poems today. 
I miss Karen being a part of this group.  An empty chair.




I Need a Title???? Help.

 A cow bawls and bawls
in the dark of the night.
I lie in a distant hermitage
listening.

My own sorrows swell.

Here, I don’t know what
I’ve wandered into—
unknown skies,
cedar trees, a bawling cow.
Surely brokenness
goes with such a noisy voice.

I contemplate joining the cow.
Maybe if I had an old-fashioned 
sit-down, sobbing time....

The next morning a young nun,
bright-eyed and full of delight,
meets me on the road saying,
A calf! a calf was born last night!
tsukany
tsukany


Posts : 927
Join date : 2011-05-21

I need a title Empty title

Post  tsukany Sun Feb 24, 2019 3:44 pm

Pat 

What about something to jog your mind:  Coming Black-n-White.

Todd
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Pat


Posts : 1167
Join date : 2011-09-12

I need a title Empty Title help

Post  Pat Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:31 pm

I laughed.  I like it!  Coming Black 'n White. 

I hope you know I did not mean to limit you to only commenting on the title, but I thank you.

Always open to any comments on poems.  

Thanks,

Pat
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Dewell H. Byrd


Posts : 385
Join date : 2012-01-05
Age : 93
Location : Central Point, OR

I need a title Empty I Need A Title?

Post  Dewell H. Byrd Tue Feb 26, 2019 5:26 pm

Pat...
seems there is a sorrow and a hope here
an emptying out and a filling up
a division of cells to produce new life...

As to a title you might consider "RENEWAL"...

That word hermitage really bothers me... takes
me far, far from the poem.

Love that last stanza image of a bright and
sunny morn in the form of a nun...

Miss Karen, too.
Dewell
renee.barger
renee.barger


Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-09-17

I need a title Empty Re: I need a title

Post  renee.barger Fri Mar 01, 2019 11:11 am

The last line took my breath away. I didnt expect the happy news and what that must mean to the speaker. Whatever you do with a title, I wouldn't hint at the ending! Loved your poem!

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