Still struggling to write...

I wanted to share something last Friday, but I didn't finish the new poem I barely started. I do have some old ones I could post. I wasn't sure what to do. I had inspiration yesterday for another poem that I haven't started. I can just wait for December too if that's best. I thought I should ask what I should do --share or wait.

P.S. My computer had been dead for a couple of months, and my husband just fixed it for me. Hopefully, I'll actually write now.

Renee

Please write and submit when you are able.  The rules apply to the three of us and we seem to be pretty flexible. 

Todd

when you can.

There are only 3 of us right now.  We can jiggle it.

And I miss reading your poetry.  By all means, Renee, share it. 

Pat

Thank you both so much for being so flexible and encouraging. If life gets too busy so that you can't get to this, I'll just reshare in December. 

I was waiting at the dentist's office, and I pulled out a napkin and pen. I finally wrote some rough lines, and I hope there's something here that's good to keep/work on. I hope you can get it. We'll see if I didn't give enough clues.

The King Was Fooled


He failed to investigate before
handing over his signet ring.
The royal decree was dispersed to every district:


Kill them all. Share the spoils.


The oppressed ethnic minority
tore their clothes and sat in sackcloths.
They fasted and prayed for deliverance


while the king reclined and dined
with the man who planned
the downfall of the queen’s people.
___________________________
Renee V. Barger

November 10, 2020

I don't remember reading a poem about the king or Jewish nation (in Persia) before.  Usually the focus is on Esther and how brave she was or on Haman and how wicked he was. So you got me from the get-go.  

I like the entire poem.  Easy to follow.  You report only a small piece of the story where the king failed to investigate and dined in luxury with Haman.. The king was easily manipulated by Haman. 

None of the characters needed names for me, but I've been in church most of my life.  
I wonder if an unchurched person would realize the source of the poem.  
An epigraph like a scripture citation could easily clue them in.  

I especially like how you contrasted the fasting and praying people vs the king and Haman dining and reclining. 

No need to tell more for me. 

Well done. 

Thanks for sharing, Rene.

Renee

I admit my mind is too clouded by the current "election" to see what Pat saw. 

I love the freshness of the story; all is very clear with that clue.

I had no reason to go to Esther though.  Without that clue, I was left with America and the poem as a symbol/allegory.

Todd

how you came up with this poem.

I can see Todd's point.  Sackcloth and ashes.

Thank you,
Pat

That is all great feedback. Thank you so much. I can add an epigraph, but I also want people to think about how this could be true today. My Bible version is new to me, and it said, "ethnic minority." In our current climate, those words popped out at me. So while yes, I want to tell the story of Ester, I wanted to point to history too. Does that make sense? I'm not trying to make a really strong statement. Just wanted to point out that the Jews were am opressed ethnic minority when more opressed threatened.

Another thought I had but didn't include in the poem (because I wasn't sure how) was how God already had a dilverance plan in place. I think it's Mordecai that tells Ester she was made queen for such a time as this. .

Also, I don't know how many times I've written Easter instead of Ester. Lol. I hope I corrected them all.

covers it for me.  In the day of Esther and today.  Right, her uncle had the wisdom words for all of us. If Esther had not rescued her people, God would have raised another. He's in control.  
 
I like how you left it hanging.  The way it is, the reader gets to remember or think through that (our) story. I remember a discussion on the book of Esther:  God is never mentioned in the book!  However He is orchestrating all of it, always in the background.
 
Well done, Renee.  I applaud you. 


I think if you had tagged anything extra on the poem, it would have been a moral or preachy which was not needed.  Seems complete to me.